Scream 4.
Within the world of the movie Scream, there is a film series that the teens watch, called Stab. Stab 1 is really Scream 1, and Stab 2 and 3 are Scream 2 and 3, but Scream 4 came out way after Scream 3 (something like 10 years – to lazy to look it up) so during that time, the Stab series continued on to part 7. We start Scream 4 with a movie in a movie in a movie with Stab 6 and 7. The beginning of Stab 7 is the beginning of Stab 6, and Scream 4 shows both Stab 6 and 7 – confusing? Not if you’re in touch with horror movies and the Scream series in general.
But if you don’t get what I am talking about then you wont get Scream 4. Scream 4 is actually brilliant if you are a movie guy, and it’s even better if you are a horror movie guy. Everything in Scream 4 is an in-joke. You cannot check your brain at the door for this one, but if you don’t know movies, you will probably not get anything that happens in it and think it’s stupid.
In terms of the movie itself – its still very fun to watch and it’s a bit better than part 3, but when the killer is revealed its pretty lame. Scream 2’s killer was lame, but this was really really bad! Taking it down a star for me, but it’s a must buy if you love the others.
What’s your favourite scary movie? Well Stab 5 of course. (that was an in joke)
4/5
J-Man.
Source Code.
From Duncan Jones, director of MOON. If you read my Moon review – see below somewhere – then you know I loved that movie, and same goes here.
Again the main plot of the film is revealed at the end of act 2 and then we get another act dealing with other stuff – that I wont reveal. In the first 10 minutes of the movie, the main character finds the bomb on the train. I was pretty stunned when this happened as I thought half the movie would be finding the bomb, then finding the bomber then ending, but nope, this guy really packs a lot into one movie.
Something we don’t usually see now a days!!!
4/5
J-Man.
Gamera VS Jiger.
So this one has no re-used footage from other films and the dvd transfer is pretty clean, even my wife was surprised.
This is so wicked! Ok, so aliens have been done twice now so its back to the old classic story of a monster hidden underground. There is this statue called the Devil’s Whistle and when its uprooted it awakens Jiger.
You see Jiger cant stand low frequency sounds, and the statue produces sounds and was keeping him buried, so when it was removed, he awoke. Gamera tried to warn the humans, but they didn’t listen! He doesn’t speak, but he tries to stop them from taking the statue. Anyway, when Jiger comes out its pretty beats!!!!!!!!
This one has a lot of fighting and Gamera gets flipped over on his back. He is a turtle remember, but no big deal, Gamera can fly. The only trouble is, that in order to fly he must retract his legs (and/or his arms – depends how fast he wants to go) and then his fire repulsion blasts come out of his legs (or arms and legs, producing a spinning-flying effect), but Jiger, that clever bastard, has shot spikes into his arms and legs so that when he tries to retract them, they get stuck on his shell!
So Gamera has to find a clever way to remove the spikes so he can fly. He is basically trapped on his back with spikes in his arms and legs! Meanwhile, Jiger takes care of some business, mainly getting the statue and trying to destroy it.
Gamera escapes – duh, and fights Jiger, only Jiger defeats him again and lays an egg inside Gamera that hatches a baby Jiger.
So these 2 kids (I think they are the same characters from the previous films) take a small submarine and go INSIDE Gamera to stop the “infection” that is actually a baby Jiger!
I think I’m done.
If this doesn’t convince you to buy this, then you are hopeless!
5/5
J-Man.
Flash Gordon.
I like serials. The big 10-15 chapters, totalling like 3-5 hours of good old fashioned action! Captain Marvel is my favourite serial, and considered one of the best. Flash Gordon is in that category, and rightfully so.
Everyone who reads this, knows I love Flash Gordon. I have all the Alex Raymond comic strips (reprinted of course), I have Defenders of the Earth (both toys and cartoon), I even own Flesh Gordon on DVD! So I am a big time Flash Gordon guy, so I am a bit biased, but I really liked this serial!
A big positive is that the costumes and story are heavily influenced by the Raymond comic. I mean it’s pretty much a straight adaptation, which I always love. Now I haven’t finished reading all the comic strips, so I don’t know if the ending is the same, but the start certainly is! And Flash’s costume is totally accurate!
The negative point is on Ming. See in serials the good guys don’t usually die – well in Captain Marvel people die, but in Flash, there are so many unique characters that cannot be killed. Flash, Dale, Zarkov, Vultan, Barin, Aura and Thun wont die. I mean it’s obvious they wont, so what ends up happening is that Ming comes off as non-threatening. It’s not anybodies fault, the actor who played Ming was GREAT!!! He was spot on, and the look of Ming was perfect too. But he just isn’t very dangerous at all. In the 80s flick he was pretty badass and even made people commit suicide in his name!
In any case, if you like serials I say get this one!
4/5
J-Man.
The Fast and the Furious.
Yes, part one. I only just saw it. See I wasn’t a big fan of this series. In fact, I wasn’t a big fan of Vin Diesel either. I liked Pitch Black because that was a horror/scifi and I liked his character, Riddick, but he was part of a bigger cast and it wasn’t so much just about him. But Fast and Furious and XXX weren’t my thing. Although, I own XXX – still haven’t seen it, and my wife gave me FATF I never watched them.
It was only after Chronicles of Riddick that I really liked Vin Diesel. See I don’t jump on bandwagons just cause there is a new star out there. Same as Leo Dicaprio, or Tom Cruise. They gotta pay their dues first and Vin paid them with Riddick. See he had 3 potential series going, XXX, FATF or Riddick. He chose to continue Riddick since Vin was more into scifi and fantasy, than into action, something I can relate to, and I think a lot of the geek community really liked that choice. Anyway, I decided to go back and watch some of the Vin movies I never saw.
I have to admit that I really enjoyed this movie big time! The story was pretty good and the action was nice too! I am really surprised that I liked it so much. I actually own Tokyo Drift, Vin only makes a cameo, but I got that one cause the cars looked pretty sick and anything in Japan is automatically great! Plus Lil Bow Wow had an Incredible Hulk car – that’s one way to get me on board.
But all in all, this first one was much better than Tokyo Drift, story wise. Sure the cars weren’t as cool, but I really liked Paul Walker and Vin Diesel in this movie!
I know everyone saw it, so no point in recommending it, but ill get part 2 and 4 and see Fast Five – the Rock vs Vin Diesel will be cool!
4/5
J-Man.
Moon.
Sam Rockwell (the guy who played Zaphod Beeblebrox in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy) is a 3 year contract worker that is SOLELY in charge of mining Helium 3 on the surface of the moon.
His 3 years is almost up and he is looking forward to going home to his wife and newborn daughter. The problem is that he is currently seeing strange things and after a near fatal accident he starts to see something else, something more tangible. The onboard computer GERTY (voiced by Kevin Spacey, doing his best impression of HAL 9000) wont let him leave until he is better.
That’s all I will give away of this amazing film! This is what I call a “REAL” movie. It has a point to make, and even though it deals with the mind, it’s not complicated at all. Plus there are no cop-outs or cheap loopholes that the writer uses to get out of explaining stuff. What you see is what you get. There are no excuses or anything stupid, like alternate time lines, going on with this movie.
Everything was well thought out and well executed. It is in the spirit of Outland, 2001, and the original Alien movie.
You know how movies have a big twist in the end? Well this twist comes at the end of Act 1 and you get an entire Act 2 to follow up on the twist! This is the work of a great filmmaker and writer. He is not relying on the twist to make his movie good.
This is the kind of movie I wished I had been able to make!
Good job people!
5/5 LARGE!
J-Man.
Turtles Forever.
I have always loved the turtles but I was never a fan of the original comic – that’s cause I didn’t know about it till way later – it was basically self published kind of thing and pretty underground and gritty. I learned about TMNT when the original cartoon came out, with campy Shredder and Krang, Bebop and Rocksteady etc. I loved that cartoon and got all the toys.
Then the movie came out and I LOVED IT! It was one of my first vhs movies and along with Batman and Conan, I have seen it more than any other movie. I have even almost memorized it! The movie was more like the comic, but kept the multi-coloured headbands (in the original comic they were all red) to cash in the cartoon craze.
After a few so-so sequels we got the “TMNT” CGI film, which I also loved and after that a new cartoon with a more serious edge to it. So basically TMNT as a franchise has gone through several incarnations. And of course all of this wouldn’t be possible without the original red-headbanded, ORIGINAL black and white comics. I’m sure glad those old comics did well enough to spawn a toy-line and cartoon, thus creating this franchise.
But what if they didn’t? What if the comic never was? Whether you like TMNT or not, they are big and you have to admit that it is a very profitable series.
Well after the CGI film, the new edgier cartoon came to a grand finale with the 75 TV-Movie.
In this new finale film, titled TURTLES FOREVER, we have the original cartoon turtles (those wacky funny ones, played for comic relief – complete with their initials on their belts and colour coded headbands) finding their way into the dimension of the current edgier turtles.
The concept here is that all incarnations of the Turtles caused other dimensions to open up where each concept ran its course. So in this film all those dimensions are opening. Think of Crisis on Infinite Earths meets the TMNT!
So the old Shredder and Krang are up against the modern Shredder – who is pretty bad ass, and the original jokey turtles meet the new ones! When the modern Shredder finds out about the dimensions, he figures that killing the Turtles Prime (meaning the black and white gritty turtles) would mean killing all the turtles.
This is BRILLIANT and this film was a fantastic way to end off the series and I STRONGLY recommend you get this. If you are a fan of ANY of the turtle incarnations, then this is the film for you!
5/5
J-Man.
Best Worst Movie.
You can’t piss on hospitality. I wont allow it! The famous line said by George Hardy, the star of the worst movie ever made, Troll 2.
If you never saw Troll 2, then you are missing out on one of the best movie-watching experiences you are likely to get. Plan 9 From Outer Space and The Room, are other so bad it’s good movies, but Troll 2 has to be the best!
So not only have I seen and own Troll 2, but I actually have met the two leads and have their autographs! How you ask? I was at Bloor Cinema when they shot Best Worst Movie – my friends and I are even on the website! Oh, I guess I should tell you what Best Worst Movie is – well it’s about the people who made Troll 2.
The actors, the director, the writer etc, all star in this low budget documentary made by the child star of Troll 2.
If you haven’t seen Troll 2, then this film is kind of pointless – although I would still suggest seeing it if you can, as the documentary doesn’t ruin Troll 2, if you haven’t seen it. But you really wont get it, unless you see Troll 2.
If you have seen Troll 2 then get this movie! It’s great to see where everyone ended up and what they are doing now etc.
As a documentary, it’s average – I mean I love it because of the subject matter, but as a human story it’s nothing new. Anvil, for example reaches anyone who had a dream, even if you didn’t like heavy metal, you will still love Anvil. This movie is more for movie people, so if you think you’re one of those, see it!
3.5/5
J-Man.
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.
I loved the first 2 Narnia films and this one is just as good as those! There’s not much to say if you have seen this series.
To me its like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings – I actually like it better than Harry Potter, but not better than Rings, but almost as good.
I loved the Minotaur and the creature at the end. The story this time is a bit simpler than the others, but you have to remember that this is a kids series. That being said, there is a kick-ass monster battle at the end and some really beautifully shots scenes.
I hope they do all the books in this series.
4.5/5
J-Man.
The Pris6ner
Ian McKellen is number 2 and Jim Caviezel is number 6 in this updated miniseries based on the classic TV show.
Jim finds himself in a desert and doesn’t know how he got there. He finds a village and learns that everyone who lives there is numbered. He is number 6. No one has any names and there is no way out of the village. 6 is a prisoner.
The man in charge of the village is 2 (Ian McKellen) and when 6 meets 2 a game of wills starts. 6 wants out, 2 wants to brainwash 6, but doesn’t want to kill him. The rest of this six hour epic is filled with strange visuals, confusing storylines and is one heck of a mind trip. You never know where you are at any time, you basically feel like 6 feels.
Eventually 6 makes a friend, 147 (a cab driver) and starts to get feelings for 313 (a female doctor who is treating him for mental illness). And he starts to find other “dreamers” who remember snippets of past lives. All the while we are getting flashbacks to 6 before he was in the village. It all comes together in a wicked conclusion that you will not see coming!
The entire series is very well done and you are just thinking the entire time while watching. There are a lot of parallels with real life – we are all just drones etc. And there is some great tension too. Ian and Jim work very well together and the acting all around is really great!
You want 6 to get out, but you also want to know what’s going on. And unlike “LOST” you actually do get to know what’s going on by the end of the 6 hours.
This is a must own for Sci-fi fans or a fan of good TV. AMC looks like they are in the running for best channel, Walking Dead is a hit too.
This shows number is 5 out of 5.
J-Man.
Hanna.
Eric Bana trains Hanna to be pumped up and she then has to TCB. That the basic plot of this very very basic movie.
Think of watching Harry Potter, then the big reveal at the end was that Harry Potter knew magic. DUH – I thought that was obvious.
Hanna (the character) is odd, she can speak every language, she can beat up adults (she’s 16), she can use weapons of all kinds etc – she is better than Rambo, and the government wants her dead, so she has obviously been altered or something, experimented on etc. The big reveal at the end was that she was experimented on. Uhm – yeah I figured that.
This isn’t even me “Mr Movie Guy” figuring it out, anyone would. Another example, in the movie Aliens they learn that a whole colony of people have been killed – then the big reveal – they have been killed by the Aliens! OH NO! – HELLO – the movie is called Aliens!!!! That’s kind of the feel you get at the end of this picture. I was also able to call the entire last 10 minutes shot for shot! – that’s a Mr Movie Guy skill.
Anyway, that aside, Hanna was well made basic movie. If you have never seen anything like this – cant imagine you not having seen one of these, then this is 5/5. The acting is great and Hanna herself is so wicked that she saves this movie! Bana and Blanchette are also wicked and I LOVED THE MUSIC!!! I got the soundtrack right after watching the movie. The Chemical Brothers did the music and they rock (I also got THE SAINT soundtrack which they did).
All in all, Hanna was an enjoyable movie and the director showed he had some style and the characters were all very well done.
My only negatives are – basic plot – someone was praising this and bashing Sucker Punch (which doesn’t make sense since SP is WAY WAY more original) and there were parts that dragged on a bit – like the family trip stuff – Hanna teams up with this travelling family that includes an annoying teenage girl, which was ok until it crossed the 20 minute mark. Up till that point Hanna was really exciting – the chase then abruptly ends with this whole “her trying to fit in part” which I like, but not for that length of time.
Plus the movie in general was too long for the simple payoff. But I still liked Hanna and I think it was a fun movie.
Don’t let me negative comments fool you, I am only letting you know that this movie isn’t the greatest ever or anything original, but I would still say go see it and support a NON-REMAKE for once!
Keep your eye on Saoirse Ronan (she was in Atonement – good movie) she will be going places!
3.5/5
J-Man.
Gamera VS Guiron.
So in the last movie aliens came down to Earth and used Gamera to attack Tokyo – reusing the footage from part one and of course using other stock footage to help the aliens “learn” about Gamera. They wouldn’t pull that again would they? HELL YEAH they would!
The use of old footage isn’t as much as the last movie, but its still there and I still love it!
On to the plot -
So basically 2 kids (one white, Tom and one Japanese Akio) get locked in a spaceship and are taken back to another planet and when Akio’s sister tells their parents what happened, they don’t believe her. I mean who would believe a little girl who says her brother was taken in a spaceship. I mean aliens aren’t real and her parents tell her that aliens aren’t real, so come on. Wait a second?
Read my first paragraph again – THE LAST MOVIE HAD ALIENS COME DOWN TO EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where were her parents then? It’s not like this movie ignores the last – they show footage from the last one. So the mother doesn’t believe her child about aliens, when she bloody well knows that aliens attacked like a year ago!
That being said, this movie is GREAT MAN! Maybe the best! Gamera fights Guiron on an alien planet! And there’s these 2 alien chicks that are wearing capes and tights – what the hell is going on?
Oh and their plan is to EAT THE BRAINS of the 2 boys! Oh, and there is a SPACE GYAOS – same as regular Gyaos, only silver and he fights Guiron first.
Guiron is a sword face guy – see the poster – and he chops Gyaos’ head off and then his wings and then he chops him into bits with purple blood flying around! What a GREAT MOVIE! The gore was pretty good for a kids movie!!!!!!!
Anyway, Gamera soars again in this fantastic adventure!
5/5
J-Man.
You thought the rants were done? Nope, I still have another good one in me and it's bubbling to the surface...it involves video games...and armchairs. Intrigued? Read further...
So, it's no secret that I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really liked the movie Sucker Punch. I wrote a blog entry blasting those who criticized it, not because they didn't like it, but because of the stupid things they were saying in their critiques. Well, I forgot one. A big one. Some of the people who saw the movie and didn't like it stated they didn't like it because it "felt like a video game."
Hmmm...now let's examine this. You know what else felt like a video game? Batman Begins. Want to know why? Because...it actually became a video game! Know what else? Every stinking Harry Potter movie. Let's see, you want more? How about Scarface? How about THE GODFATHER. That's right, the sacred cow for all these fan "experts", the movie that sits on everyone's shelf who knows anything about film, the movie that is hailed on the IMDB as the greatest of all time...is also a video game. Saying you don't like a movie "because it feels like a video game" is absurd. It's akin to not liking apples "because they remind me of fruit." Video games and movies go hand-in-hand these days. Video games are turned into movies. Movies are turned into video games. If a movie is popular, chances are at some point, it will become a video game.
Now luckily for these critics, they have the argument that the reverse doesn't happen and video games don't "feel" like movies...umm...ehh...actually...have you played any video game these days? On any system? You heard of Grand Theft Auto? Halo? Bioshock? Fallout? Half-life? Arkham Asylum? They're all basically mini-movies. You play a bit, cinematic cut scene. You play a little bit, another cinematic plot scene. You know things are getting ridiculous when you read on message boards "what's going to be the plot for this game?" Plot? Plot...now where have I heard that word used before...plot...oh yeah. MOVIES! So, the whole point is, the line between video games and movies are too blurred to separate. Saying you don't like a movie because it feels like a video game is like complaining about it being widescreen. It is what it is.
Now, what does this have to do with armchairs? Well, as Deceptisean is fond of hyping about, all of these criticisms are by these "armchair critics" who sit there and criticize and over-analyze every single aspect of a film. Why is this? I have my theory.
I took film classes at Dork, I mean York University. These film classes were over-populated with these blowhard, pompous, yahoo, jackass, know-nothings who thought they knew every aspect of film because they saw Citizen Kane once. These self-styled "filmmakers of tomorrow" would often strut into class and go on and on about the film technique, the mise-en-scene, the breakdown of every single frame of a film and what it meant. Now, that's kind of what film class does to you and I'm not saying I was totally immune. In fact, film class somewhat took some of the pure joy out of watching film, as I sit and watch some movies I used to enjoy and notice flaws now. The difference between me and the other yahoos is, I can still enjoy a movie just as a movie. These guys can't.
Anyhow, back to my theory. So, these guys who were going to take over Hollywood and make it like they want it, guaranteed did not do that. In fact, I'm guessing the "real world" came crashing down on this idiot lot when they departed the safe, smug grounds of University thought. These bitter dumbasses might have ended up writing for half-baked schlock websites like JoBlo and Ain'tItCoolNews. They might have started up their own review blogs. They might by the guys populating the message boards. There might even be a few who were lucky enough to write online journals or for newspapers and get paid for their moronic blatherings.
The bottom line is, these are the armchair critics to me, the pathetic souls who walked into a film class at some point in their life and walked out thinking that they, not Thomas Edison, invented the motion picture. These are the guys demanding "hard-hitting, gritty stories", "three-dimensional characters", "organic chemistry" and half-a-dozen other eye-rolling catchphrases that make me want to vomit. Hey, movies should be analyzed, don't get me wrong. I'm all for looking at a movie and seeing how it functions. What I'm against, is analyzing it to death. I'm against sitting in your big armchair, criticizing someone else's work that can take years to make it to the screen, and you possess neither the talent nor the drive to produce anything yourself. People who can make movies, make movies. Those who can't, criticize.
At the end of the day, I want to enjoy a movie. Every picture is it's own experience, with it's own set of genre-specific expectations and it's own hook to drive me to pay my hard-earned money and watch it in a dark room with a bunch of strangers. Painting every movie with the same brush is not going to work. Expecting every movie to be The Wizard of Oz or Gone With the Wind, will not work. Each movie is set up to illicit a different emotion from you, the viewer. Whether it be mind-numbing chills, thrills, laughter, tears, whatever, that's the beauty of film, like Forrest Gump said, it's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. It's the dumbasses who demand every movie be from Lady Godiva that ruin it for the rest of us.
Well, that's me all ranted out for now. Whether it made you think, made you laugh, made you happy, made you mad, it's all fine by me. So until the next one, kick back, watch a movie and don't worry about how much of a video game it is.
- Stephenstein.
No, this is not a review of the movie Fanboys. This is a rant. To be precise, it is the top 3 reasons I don't like fanboys. Be forewarned, this is not for the faint of heart.
1. They have too much to say.
Granted, this is not entirely their fault as the studios and filmmakers have placed way too much emphasis on polling and their opinion in the past few years. The best example is Spider-Man 3. Sam Raimi wanted to do Sandman. The fanboys heard through the grapevine (which is not an accurate news source...duh) that the studio was considering Venom. All of a sudden, there was this huge groundswell through the fanboys to get Venom in the movie. The studio through Avi Arad pressured Sam Raimi to add Venom, even though he didn't know who that was. So, he added Venom and the result was a mishmash which was ridiculed by the fanboys for being bad.
I want to add that Raimi had done a pretty good job up to that point with parts 1 and 2. They were both commercial and critical successes. Why not leave well enough alone? Why not let Raimi do the movie he wanted to do, instead of forcing this extra villain on him and ruining not only Venom, but Sandman as well? Simply because the fanboys have too much to say. They wanted Venom since there was talk of a Spider-Man movie. I don't even know how Venom became as popular as he did, all I know is all the fanboys was horny to get Venom into a Spider-Man movie, no matter what. Now 3 failed and when something big fails, the studio does whatever it does...it reboots the whole thing. So now, we have Peter Parker back in school for part 4. Yay.
2. They care too much about what the mainstream thinks.
So, I tell people I read comics and collect various items related to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Raiders of the Lost Ark, etc. I usually get the answer "how old are you?" You see, there's a common misconception out there that comics, toys, etc are just for kids. You know what I don't see at a lot of toy shows? Kids. I see people with white hair. I see people as old as I am and older. I'm sure there's some middle-aged man out there with a kickass Barbie collection. See, the mainstream are ignorant and what you do with ignorant people is usually a) educate them or b) ignore them. I usually opt for option B.
However, filmmakers are trying to kowtow to the ignorant masses. The best example of recent member was The Dark Knight. Now, before you all rocket emails to me (or would rocket them to me if you had my email), let me just say, that I like The Dark Knight. I own the special edition on DVD. I will own the Blu-ray. I did not think The Dark Knight sucked. However, I don't think it was this masterpiece everyone else thought. The Joker didn't have enough pranks, he was too organized and too sane, there was far too much emphasis on Harvey Dent and what he was doing, we had to wait the entire movie for Two-Face and then he dies at the end...there was a lot that could have been better about The Dark Knight.
However, the mainstream loves the movie. Of course, they took a lot of the fantasy out of it and made it "realistic". Since the mainstream is mainly comprised of people totally lacking in imagination (the distaste for Sucker Punch is a prime example), this was the perfect time for fanboys to wield their clout. The opposite happened, though. The fanboys fell in step with the mainstream. Why? Because something they liked was finally universally accepted. They were no longer "not cool" for liking Batman. My response? Eff the mainstream. Where were you guys when I was getting my ass kicked? The answer: No where. It may not be popular to like comic books and fantasy and what not, but I don't care. I like what I like and that's it. I don't see a need to compromise on that and the fanboys shouldn't be worried about what a bunch of ignorant jackasses think. But they do, which makes them no better.
3. They don't support what they profess to love.
Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World is the prime example of this. Scott Pilgrim was this wacky, fun, comedy/fantasy movie that felt like a video game. It was reportedly and apparently true to the comic book and was made the way it was specifically for the fanboys. Now, I never read the comic but I still went out, paid my money to see the movie, then bought the movie on DVD. I supported it, even though until the movie came out, I had not even HEARD of Scott Pilgrim. You know what, though? The fanboys didn't go out and see it. It didn't make anywhere near the money it should have, considering how much supposed demand there was for this comic to be made into a movie.
So, here's the thing. You're a fanboy. You're probably not that popular (even though you probably have Dark Knight stickers taped to your forehead). You probably don't have a lot of friends and even if you do, they're probably not popular, either. You probably don't have a girlfriend. You probably eat lunch at school alone a lot and you probably get picked on a lot. Hey, been there, done that, I've got bones that are just getting discovered they were broken for getting beaten up a lot as a kid, like twenty years later. I'm not here to judge. What I am saying is you guys should be embracing what you love. You don't have a lot of things going for you in today's rotten society, so do yourselves a favour and at least stand for something and support the stuff you truly do love, not the stuff that everyone else thinks it's okay for you to love. If you don't start supporting that, even that will be taken away from you. Then what?
So, that's the 3 reasons I hate fanboys. In all honesty, everyone bitches about how studios are screwing up the film landscape with their remakes, sequels and rehashes and by all means, they're right. However, the fanboys have a responsibility, too. Thanks to the internet, the fanboys have never had so much power, they can reach out and email these execs and filmmakers, they can rant on forums, they can refuse to pay to watch what isn't faithful, they have more power to wield than ever before. Instead, they want to be accepted and popular and be like the ignorant masses. I got bad news for you boys: it isn't worth it. So, like what you like and if someone tells you you're stupid or childish for liking it, tell them to go to hell. There's more important things in the world to worry about than what the jabroni in the next cubicle thinks.
- Stephenstein
Gamera VS Viras.
This is either the best of the 4, or the worst of the 4. The 4th Gamera film concerns aliens (yes, they finally brought in the aliens) who want to attack Earth, only to be stopped by Gamera. They decide to send a second ship and this time, they target Gamera – this all happens in first 5 minutes!!!!!!!!
So basically the aliens are attacking, this always happens in Kaiju movies, but this time the aliens decide to trap Gamera and study his memory – which we then see is a recap of all the fights of the films up till that point. So basically 20 minutes of this 80 minute movie is footage from previous Gamera movies.
So if you don’t own any of them, then this is the movie to buy, cause you get all the highlights. What’s really bad though, is when the aliens control Gamera and force him to attack Japan and they use the footage from the first film. Big deal right. I mean they used footage from the other movies already, so why not use stuff from part one – well – part one was in black and white! So all of a sudden this film turns black and white! And what’s really great is that they cut back and forth between the aliens control center (in colour) to Gamera attacking Japan (black and white footage from part one).
HAHAHAHA
Love it!
Viras is the name of the planet the aliens are from – so it’s Gamera VS a PLANET! The monster in this is basically an alien octopus and of course there are some cute kids thrown in too – oh and this is the first appearance of the Gamera theme song!
Woo hoo.
5/5
J-Man.
Napoleon Dynamite.
I missed the first 10 or mins of this movie, but I watched the rest. Now I saw it on tv so I’m not sure if I missed stuff, but I thought this was a really funny movie.
I cried laughing a multiple parts. I have never seen such a no reason movie where everything that happens is completely nonsensical in every way. I loved the complete and utter lack of story – it’s just Napoleon doing stuff – some of it has a reason, some of it doesn’t, but it’s ALL FUNNY!
Laugh out loud moments include: His uncle’s terrible video of himself throwing a football, to which Napoleon simply says “this is the worst video ever.” And it is! I know this doesn’t seem funny now, but when you see it, it really is hilarious.
I see why this is a cult movie – I think average moviegoers wont get Napoleon’s character, but I did and loved it. This was defiantly a winner for me, and I am VERY VERY Touch on comedies – those who know me, know that comedies are not my thing – unless its really off the wall funny like this (or Big Lebowski).
5/5
J-Man.
Gamera VS Gyaos.
This is the third movie and by now Gamera is a hero. Kids love him (he saves one in this movie) and the people depend on him for help.
As far as the fighting goes, this is the best one. The story here is pretty lame and typical of these monster flix. It wasn’t as good as the story of Barugon, but the fights make up for it.
The battles in this are wicked and if you are looking for a fun time this is it! So far this is the best one of the series – I know I said the story wasn’t as good, but the story of part 2 isnt so great either, just good for a monster movie is all. But this has some great battles.
Gyaos is great – he can shoot lasers from his mouth and actually really injures Gamera!
Of course the military comes up with some plans, that don’t work, but hey they are getting creative with these plans! They want to lure Gyaos to this spinning building so that he will get dizzy and fall down. They lure him with fake human blood – they were able to replicate the smell of it, and when he gets to the blood the platform will spin causing him to get dizzy and fall. Then they will keep him down until the sun comes out, cause like a vampire, he dies in sunlight.
It doesn’t work – big shocker there, and then Gamera has to TCB.
Another great Gamera!
5/5
J-Man.
Orphan.
What do you get when you have a really creepy kid in a horror movie – well you get Orphan. A movie about a creep little girl, who I actually find very cute, who is involved in several accidents or coincidences that lead to the death of several people. Her family died in Russia and her adopted family also died by fire, so now she is adopted by a new couple. The couple already have 2 kids, a boy and a girl (who is deaf), but they still wanted to adopt a third child to make up for a miscarriage the mother had earlier.
I missed this in theatres, even though I really wanted to see it – I just had a feeling it was good and I was right! The reason I didn’t see it in theatres was that it looked like a possession movie. I hate when kids and ghosts mix and I am never scared. I wasn’t scared by this movie either, but I was interested in it and excited by the fact that there wasn’t any spirits in it.
I wont give away what happens, or whether Esther (the girl in question) is bad or good, but I will say it’s a hell of a fun time finding out.
I loved this movie! This is a blu-ray purchase for me, and I bought it!
BTW Esther should have won an award – she was like 11-12 years old at the time and this was a really tough role for a kid that age and she pulled it off wonderfully!
4.5/5
J-Man.
Stalag 17.
William Holden is a POW during WW2 and is trying to make a living. Cigarettes and booze are the profit in the POW camp and he is really doing well. So well in fact that some are suspecting that he is working with the Germans. Someone obviously is, since an escape attempt was foiled and the POWs loose their radio and other items that they need.
Someone is snitching on them and Holden is the prime suspect. He insists he’s just trying to better his circumstances, but he realises that his life may be in danger if he doesn’t find the snitch.
The premise of this movie is wicked and all the cast do a great job, especially Holden, who won the Oscar for this one, and I was never able to guess who the snitch was. I wont reveal it here, in case you didn’t see the movie, but I didn’t guess it. Even if you do, it doesn’t matter, because this film is one great movie!
It may be a bit long for the payoff, but that’s only a minor point, this is another classic from Billy Wilder, who’s filmography is almost a “best of” for the golden age of Hollywood.
4/5
J-Man.
