Super Not Great.

Super 8.

So everyone loves this movie. I didn’t see it in theatres cause JJ Abrams sucks ass. I hate Cloverfield – giant monster movie with no monster, I hate Star Trek (the new one) – Spock has emotions and the story doesn’t make any sense, I hate Lost – long drawn out show that doesn’t conclude or make any sense. So basically I didn’t want to see this.

Everyone is loving it though saying it reminds them of E.T. or Close Encounters of the Third Kind, well it doesn’t remind me of those movies.

First off, this movie is 1 hour and 45 mins and there is no alien. You see it for like maybe 2-3 shots, and then only its face. There is no connection made with the characters or the alien – say like in ET, where you really got emotionally involved with the kid and ET and felt bad that the kid was losing a friend when ET went home. The story here doesn’t even involve the alien until the last 15 mins, and then I am supposed to care about what happens?

There is this big music at the end with the alien and I don’t know what I am supposed to feel. In Close Encounters you knew something great was happening and mankind would benefit. In ET, ET goes home, which was the entire goal of the movie. Music cues enhance this feeling in us that something magnificent has happened, but here it’s just in place cause JJ knows it should be, but doesn’t understand WHY it should be there.
Also, you know the movie rule where people in movies have never seen any movies. Like when those idiots in horror flicks always act stupid and search the woods on their own, and you scream at the TV saying “don’t go out alone, you’ll die” see those characters never saw any horror movies so they don’t know not to go out alone, but in this film, the kids are film makers and monster and horror movie lovers, yet they don’t get what is going on – hmmm – if a train derailed due to some nut-job ramming his truck into it, then suddenly 100 million government agents show up, I would suspect some kind of foul play, or something fishy, but no, these kids just want to make their zombie movie.
The kids – well they are not memorable at all, and are just whatever. Their lives don’t fascinate me in any way and I don’t much care about the movie they are making. I care about the ALIEN – but nope, we get nothing about it at all.

BTW – you don’t see it at all. I like suspense and not knowing what will happen next, and when sometimes they don’t show the monster cause its more suspenseful. Take the first Alien movie, I LOVE that movie. It has great suspense and the alien creature keeps changing form. Sure now a days we know what it looks like, but in that original movie we didn’t. It was an egg, then a spider, then a small squirmy slug, then it was a big black monster with two mouths. That is cool! The alien changed forms, so it was always exciting.

This movie gives no such excitement. I am in utter disbelief over people’s love of this movie. I don’t get it.

It’s basically a poorly executed B picture – and it fails at that!

I took a hit for the team and downloaded this, and I am sure as hell glad I didn’t spend money on it.

In closing I’d like to say that this movie isn’t garbage. I came down hard because EVERYONE IS DYING OVER IT FOR NO REASON. If it came and went, I would be ok with it. Just another crappy monster flick, but because people are loving it, I have to expect more, and with JJ’s budget and contacts, this should’ve been much better.

You want a more down to Earth monster/alien flick, then go watch THE HOST – that was done right.

Oh and the only good thing in this movie was the first 15 mins and the end credits where they should the kids super 8 zombie flick – hell the whole movie should’ve been that then.

2/5

J-Man.