Thursday, March 17, 2011


Battle LA (aka BLA).

Bla is right. This may be the worst film ever made for the money it cost to make it. Nothing made any sense at all. The aliens want our water, because (and I quote) Liquid Water isn’t available anywhere else in the galaxy except for Earth. Water is what we call the liquid form of H2O – the solid form is called Ice. So Liquid Water doesn’t make sense. The aliens use water to power their ships – so how did they get to Earth if they didn’t have the water? Why didn’t they stop off at Jupiter – doesn’t one of its moon’s contain ice or something? I don’t wanna bother researching this, because I don’t care. This kind of movie is a “check your brain at the door.” Well it still sucked.

It was all shaky cam – so I couldn’t tell what was going on, also aliens came out of nowhere all the time. But when they find the command center then there are no aliens around. Where are these aliens? Where do they stay, sleep, eat or poop? And their vehicles are so badly designed, they make the AT-ATs seem plausible. Plus where do they keep these vehicles, where are the aliens damn it!

I could never tell where the enemy was! Not location like what street, but where in general - they are surrounding us, we are pinned down - ok, HOW??? Also because you cannot see the action, you cannot see the aliens. Their design is awful when do you see them for a second.

Tremors was a “check your brain at the door” movie and its brilliant! How about Aliens? That’s a masterpiece – and the marines in that movie are characters. You remember them because of who they are, not because a subtitle comes up with their name. So in any case the aliens keep on coming, and seem invulnerable to being shot.

They shoot the aliens like 100 times and then find out that their weak point is the right side of the chest – then all of a sudden they can kill them – well when they shot them 100 times before, didn’t any bullets hit their chest? Marines and cops shoot to kill – which is the chest area – go watch any cop show, or deadliest warrior for that tip. At one point 5 marines shoot an alien at point blank range at least 100 times and he doesn’t die – so I guess they were aiming for his feet?

Also the aliens have REMOTE Control ships – so why send ground troops at all? Nothing in this film made sense at any point in time and I couldn’t see the action, so I’m done. Aaron Eckhart was cool, so Ill give them that.

Skyline was an alien invasion flick that was fun and you could see the aliens and there was actually some neat suspense. This movie was just a piece of message loud garbage.



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