To boldly go BACK. I am tired of going back to see how it all started. It all started with the first Star Trek episode. I liked Enterprise, the show wasn’t too bad. But after Trek, TNG, DS9 and Voyager, I was ready for something new! A new series set afterward. Maybe Picard could be an admiral and send off a new crew to boldly go… Alas, no, lets go back to the start of Kirk, because he is a name that the average joe knows, and lets make it cool so that other brainless people can enjoy it.
You see, Star Trek is boring, or so most people think and so do the film makers. They are trying to make it less boring, by making it the same as every other poorly written sci-fi movie. I don’t think Trek is boring, and anyone who has the ability to think, shouldn’t find it boring either.
This film is really poorly written. The actors were fine, the ship looked good, but its like the writers just squeezed all the juice out of the orange and we are only left with the peel, which is part of the orange, but not the tasty part. Everything looks good, but doesn’t feel good.
Uhura is appointed as communications officer because she knows Romulan. Bones becomes chief medical officer because the other guy died. Scotty has never served on a starship, but he knows how to transport through warp speed, so he is now chief engineer. What happened to working for your advancement? If you put in your time, gain knowledge, experience, toughen up, work hard, and then are rewarded with a higher ranking. Not accidentally gaining one. The entire movie is treated in that way. No one works towards a goal, the stumble upon it. Does that make a good Captain? Would you trust a boy who has no experience running a ship? Or a man who has been in countless battles and has defeated many enemies. This whole idea of making authority look bad, or useless is getting really tired. Who needs to follow the rules? Kirk doesn’t right? Well that’s because Kirk had been in space for awhile, so he knows all decisions cant be made by a book. It takes experience to run a ship, which Kirk had, but not in this movie. He breaks rules just for the sake of breaking them.
I also don’t like the “sex with farm animals” line and many like it. It’s not funny and it’s screams of bad writing. I would need an entire review for how badly they screwed Spock up. Even when he’s logical, he’s not. I will say that Bones, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov were all pretty cool. Kirk was even ok towards the end, but Uhura, who looked good, was not very well used (keeping to the old show I guess) and Spock, who looked good too, was really poorly written. See, you need to understand logic to write about it.
There is no story at all. Some Romulan wants to destroy Vulcan cause he hates Spock. He is so angry that he can wait 25 years before Spock shows up before destroying Vulcan. What a joke.
The look of the movie was fine, the casting was fine, even with Spock, who could’ve been really good if they knew what to do with him. But even as a non-trek movie, it’s still lacking.
The plot is terrible, the action is shaky (typical of today), and the characters don’t do enough. They are only cool if you know who they are already, which non-trekers wouldn’t know.
I wont even bother talking about the timeline of Trek, which was pissed on LARGE. In any case, this movie wasn’t a real Star Trek movie, and the masses may like it, but then they’ll forget about it like they do with all movies they “love”. Terminator comes out in a couple of weeks, and then everyone will jump on that band wagon.
Where no ONE has gone before. PISSU.
You see, Star Trek is boring, or so most people think and so do the film makers. They are trying to make it less boring, by making it the same as every other poorly written sci-fi movie. I don’t think Trek is boring, and anyone who has the ability to think, shouldn’t find it boring either.
This film is really poorly written. The actors were fine, the ship looked good, but its like the writers just squeezed all the juice out of the orange and we are only left with the peel, which is part of the orange, but not the tasty part. Everything looks good, but doesn’t feel good.
Uhura is appointed as communications officer because she knows Romulan. Bones becomes chief medical officer because the other guy died. Scotty has never served on a starship, but he knows how to transport through warp speed, so he is now chief engineer. What happened to working for your advancement? If you put in your time, gain knowledge, experience, toughen up, work hard, and then are rewarded with a higher ranking. Not accidentally gaining one. The entire movie is treated in that way. No one works towards a goal, the stumble upon it. Does that make a good Captain? Would you trust a boy who has no experience running a ship? Or a man who has been in countless battles and has defeated many enemies. This whole idea of making authority look bad, or useless is getting really tired. Who needs to follow the rules? Kirk doesn’t right? Well that’s because Kirk had been in space for awhile, so he knows all decisions cant be made by a book. It takes experience to run a ship, which Kirk had, but not in this movie. He breaks rules just for the sake of breaking them.
I also don’t like the “sex with farm animals” line and many like it. It’s not funny and it’s screams of bad writing. I would need an entire review for how badly they screwed Spock up. Even when he’s logical, he’s not. I will say that Bones, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov were all pretty cool. Kirk was even ok towards the end, but Uhura, who looked good, was not very well used (keeping to the old show I guess) and Spock, who looked good too, was really poorly written. See, you need to understand logic to write about it.
There is no story at all. Some Romulan wants to destroy Vulcan cause he hates Spock. He is so angry that he can wait 25 years before Spock shows up before destroying Vulcan. What a joke.
The look of the movie was fine, the casting was fine, even with Spock, who could’ve been really good if they knew what to do with him. But even as a non-trek movie, it’s still lacking.
The plot is terrible, the action is shaky (typical of today), and the characters don’t do enough. They are only cool if you know who they are already, which non-trekers wouldn’t know.
I wont even bother talking about the timeline of Trek, which was pissed on LARGE. In any case, this movie wasn’t a real Star Trek movie, and the masses may like it, but then they’ll forget about it like they do with all movies they “love”. Terminator comes out in a couple of weeks, and then everyone will jump on that band wagon.
Where no ONE has gone before. PISSU.
2.5/5 (1 for Bones, Scotty, Sulu, Checkov - 1 for effects and design - .5 for kirk - in the end he was cool).
J-KRAKEN
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