Men in Black...III

So, they made another Men in Black movie.  It's actually a little surprising to me, considering that it had been 10 years since MIB II and if memory serves, it wasn't really all that well received. At least by me. I didn't care for #2...it seemed the story really wasn't that great and it wasn't as much fun as the first one.  Actually, I can remember nothing about #2, other than J went to find K who was working at the post office with a bunch of aliens...I don't remember the main villain or anything.  Needless to say, didn't even see it in the theatre which is dry, considering Men in Black 1 was one of my first DVD's.  So, I went to see this one and you know what?


It actually was pretty good!  I don't think it was as good as the first one for sure, that movie is just so much fun, it's ridiculous. However, this one is pretty good, nevertheless.  There's a ton of aliens again and there's a lot of humour as well, I think the humour fell sort of flat in MIB 2, but it really works on this one.  I find that Smith and Jones are pretty good foils for one another and the fact that Tommy Lee Jones plays everything dead straight no matter how ridiculous the situation is just awesome.  His eulogy for Zedd is great!


I was a little nervous about him going back in time because you would lost the whole Smith/Jones dynamic and it's true, I don't think Brolin and Smith are as good together as Smith and Jones, but then again, Jones' face is impossible to duplicate.  I will say this for Brolin though, his impression of Tommy Lee Jones is scary and I mean SCARY good.  When he was talking, if you closed your eyes, you would think it was Tommy Lee Jones speaking.  It's that insane.  


The storyline is okay, the main villain is actually really memorable (the wildman Kieran from Dinner for Schmucks) and it has a nice nostalgia to it as most of the film takes place in 1969.  That means the MIB run into Andy Warhol, there's more racism, the cars are different, the technology is different, it's just a different time and place and I guess it was one way to breathe life back into the franchise.  To be honest, I think this might be the end of the Men in Black films, at least in this incarnation and if so, then they wrapped everything up really well.  


If you skipped this one because you weren't that impressed with #2, that's perfectly understandable.  Men in Black II was a huge misstep, but they're back with a vengeance in this one and they really went out and tried to make this movie fun again.  There's a lot of aliens, there's gadgets and there's laughs.  That's all you really need in these types of movies.  So, catch in on DVD if you can, it's one of those movies that doesn't try and be anything other than a fun movie and really, what more can you ask?


Rating: 4 out of 5 stars. 


- Stephenstein

The Dictator!

So, for those of you who don't know, the star of this film is Sacha Baron Cohen, he of Ali G, Borat and Bruno fame.  In this one, it's a little different than his other works: it actually has a linear plot and it's less of a documentary style and more of a conventional movie.  However, you don't have to fear as it still has his touches all over it, it's satirical and ironic, it has crude humour and a lot of commentary about a wide variety of topics, mostly to do with the United States.  If you're a big fan of some of his other works, then you'll probably forgive the parts in the film that aren't that funny, if you have never watched any of his other films, in my opinion Bruno and especially Borat are slightly better.  I'll get into it a little more. 


So, there is a lot that works and a lot that is funny in The Dictator.  My favourite scene was actually the scene in the United Nations involving the fake Dictator and what he does to the Jewish delegation (I won't give it away here).  Let's just say that I was laughing my ass off.  The movie starts off hilariously and really keeps the momentum going while he is in the fake nation of Wadiya which Baron Cohen's character is the dictator of.  I actually think those scenes are funnier than his scenes when he's coming to America.  I just like this idea of having this completely amoral person walking around, doing whatever he wants, he's completely clueless but because he's in charge, no one can really stop him. 


Then he goes to America.  He meets the requisite American girl who is absolutely appalled with what he does.  The momentum keeps up for a while in America, but then things start to falter.  Partly because of the relationship -- it's not bad or anything, but it's not really good, either.  I'm not interested in seeing Baron Cohen's character reform or find love or anything like that.  Like I said, it's not really bad or anything, but it just doesn't interest me, I'm more interested in him offending everyone.  He does this somewhat, but it gets a little muddled, because there's actually a storyline -- he's got a mission he's got to do, there's a deadline and it's sort of geared to that.  That being said, there was some stuff I just think fell flat...the masturbation scene, the birthing scene (though it recovered a bit at the end) and the decapitated head all produced crickets in the theatre.  It wasn't like the Borat scene where he and the other guy were wrestling naked in the hotel where you just watched it build to it went to ludicrous heights...these scenes were just "okay, this isn't really funny or going anywhere, let's move on". 


However, there's more to like in this film than dislike.  The other actors in the movie don't really get in Baron Cohen's way, he is the star and the movie is all him.  The jokes hit more than they miss and there's a lot to like about the movie.  For me personally, like I said, I enjoy seeing him do ridiculous and outrageous things in Borat or Bruno a little more just because of the style it's done -- having it like a mockumentary, a lot of people would take this stuff for real, he didn't really use actors in that film and the reactions just strike me as funnier.  In this one, it's a movie, I know it's a movie, it doesn't mean it's not a funny movie but I think having more overtly a movie lessens his impact a little bit and makes the jokes that don't work a little more negative to the overall film.  


That being said go check it out, you'll probably find it absolutely hilarious and if you're clever, you'll like it for what it is.  


Rating: 3.5 out of 5. 


- Stephenstein

The 3 Stooges

So, as you all know (or should know), Larry, Curly and Moe aka the Three Stooges were one of the first great comedy teams in film.  They're in the same class of The Marx Brothers, Abbott and Costello, Laurel and Hardy and probably better than Martin & Lewis and Hope & Crosby.  They were iconic for the 'nyuk nyuk', the slapstick comedy and the unique look of the each of the characters.  Even though there were several different incarnations of the Stooges, the most popular depiction of the group was the original Colombia Pictures team, consisting of comedian Larry Fine and brothers Moe and Curly Howard.  It was this version of the Stooges depicted in this film. 


I have two different feelings about the film.  The first is, these are the Three Stooges.  They are perfect carbon copies of the original Stooges.  Not just in their look, but in their mannerisms and routines.  There is a lot of slapstick in this movie and if you're at all familiar with the Three Stooges, then you know what I'm talking about.  A lot of slapping, eye-poking, and the rest.  There's also a lot of stupidity on their part, because they are after all, the Stooges.  A lot of not understanding what's going on, word meaning misrepresentation, etc.  If you're a fan of the Stooges and especially if you know Curly's trademark moves, it's all here, using Curly's head of a battering ram, he drops to the ground and runs in a circle using his shoulder as a pivot, he barks at people like a dog.  If they were ever going to do the Three Stooges and they needed to emulate the other Stooges, there is no other choice they could have made.  All three guys are perfect and when they're allowed to just do stuff, it's great. 


However, there is also stuff about the film I didn't like.  Particularly, I'm not a big fan of putting recent stuff that I think of as "pop-culture fad" into a film.  There is a scene where they showed Moe being part of the Jersey Shore TV show.  I thought originally that they would be a one and done, but nope, it came back and showed more of Moe at Jersey Shore.  I actually started to get annoyed because I think the film should be concentrating on coming up with funny things for the Stooges to do (which they showed they could) instead of trying to add in as many pop-culture references as possible.  Instead, we get mention of I-Phones, Facebook, Twitter, the Kardashians, Orlando Magic player Dwight Howard and the Jersey Shore cast make appearances...I mean, yes, you can point out the stupidity in pop culture today and society in general, but the point I find most contradictory about this is the reason why this movie was being made the 3 Stooges and their humour has lasted generations, they're still popular enough that someone greenlit a movie with their characters in there and the Farrelly Bros. still can't resist throwing in there stuff that quite frankly just shows how far we've gone downhill in popular culture.  I mean, if that was their goal, mission accomplished, but it just made me yearn for more Stooge stuff. 


I also have to ask, at the end of the movie, what the hell was with the Public Service Announcement?  I mean, it was funny to see two jacked guys show up as the Farrelly Bros, but what the hell was that?  They come out and tell the audience that it was all fake and we shouldn't emulate the stuff we saw in the movie?  Really?  Because, I gotta be honest with you, after Jackass and Steve-O and all that garbage, I would be more worried about people emulating that crap than the Stooges.  Also, if a kid goes home and smashes his brother in the head with the hammer, my immediate question is: where are the parents?  Yeah, I didn't get that at all, it was right at the end of the movie and it was just awkward and bizarre. 


Anyhow, that's the Stooges for you.  It's faithful to the characters and I think if they avoided all the pop-culture references of today, I would have liked it a lot better.  As it is, I'll give it a decent rating, though it could have been higher. 


Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.


- Stephenstein

Psychotic bosses

Thought the trailer for this looked good, so I watched it.  I'll talk about this film in relation to the bosses and their employees.  Makes it easier.

Jason Batemen is pretty cool and pretty much the most normal of the employees.  He has some great bits with Kevin Spacey, with the drinking part that comes up in the movie and also some other bits.  He's the straight, rational one in the film.  Kevin Spacey, who I really like in general, starts out really good, but becomes too psychotic (i.e. killing people) which wasn't so good.  For this movie to work, it had to strike a chord with the working classes.  When Spacey berates Bateman at the start for being late and then steals his promotion, that's something that I think we've all run across, bosses nailing us for crap reasons or ruining our advancement.  However, when he's killing people and what not...it loses it's ability for us to relate.  It went too far.  If me and J-Man wrote this script, no problem, we would draw from real events and it would be good.  The writers for this obviously have never worked in an office in their life and that's where this movie suffers.

Charlie Day who is the assistant to Jennifer Aniston, is the most annoying.  He's this hyper guy who yells a lot and just became...annoying to me.  If your wondering why he wouldn't accept Jennifer Aniston's advances, it's because he's engaged to be married (though his fiancee doesn't seem to mind how much time he's spending with his two friends).  Jennifer Aniston has never been hotter and this might be her best character ever, for me.  She tried to be a femme fatale in Derailed and failed, but this one, she is just this super-aggressive woman who goes over the top right from the get-go.  However, I don't see what attraction she would have for Charlie Day, other than the whole power thing.

Jason Sudikis is the smarmy, smart-assed guy and he really doesn't work well in his role.  They've written him like this guy who is everyone's friend in the office and what not, but I find it hard to believe a smart-ass like him would care about anyone in the office.  He also sleeps around (with Aniston and Spacey's wife) and it was...his schtick got tired, really quick.  I think he's one of those SNL guys, which makes sense, because those guys aren't funny, period.  Colin Farrell is hilarious in the small time he has, because he barely shows up.

The best though are Ioan Gruffald (Mr. Fantastic in the Fantastic Four films) and Jamie Foxx.  Gruffald only has one scene, but it's pretty damned funny!  Foxx is the best, how he got his name and how he ended up in jail were the best jokes in the entire film.  If they made this film about his character, it probably would have been better!

So, there you have it.  It's funny enough for you to check out, but not good enough in the end for me to add to my collection.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

- Stephenstein

Was someone actually taken home?

This movie came out and I don't think anyone even realized it.  I caught this the other day.  I was intrigued from the trailer as it appeared to be set in the late 80's/early 90's, a generation I grew up in.

Overall, it wasn't bad.  It's about Topher Grace, who was a brain in school (he's like Rain Man with numbers) but a loser with the ladies.  He's working for a video store now and in walks in Tori, his high-school crush. After pretending to work for a high-powered bank, she invites him to a big party that night...one he's never gone to before.  With his sister (Anna Faris) and his buffoon friend, who just got fired from his job at an auto dealership, he tries to hook up with her at the party.

Now, this movie had it's strong points and its weak points.  Topher Grace has this easy likeability about him.  He doesn't do anything too stupid either, he's just good at playing the every-guy who has to get by with his brain and sense of humor over looks.  There was a really good exchanged between him and the girl who played his crush about whether or not she would have dated him in high school.  The answer out of her mouth was no...I don't think I've seen a movie do that before.  It's always stereotypically "yes, you should have asked me".  In this case, it's no!  And he's relieved!  His reasoning "if you said no, then I would have hated you and wouldn't be sitting her right now."  I like that!  Also, the scene where he tricks the guy by elaborating on his fake job, is great!

His friend is kind of annoying (though it was jokes when he tried to do a dance-off with another guy).  Anna Faris really has nothing to do, we have a subplot between her and this guy, they're together, but he's kind of a douche and even though he's honest with her, she still leaves him.  Typical stuff.  There's also cocaine and other stuff...I don't care about that sort of thing, so whenever they delve into it, it's pointless to me.  The soundtrack was reminiscent of the time period, so that was nice.  There was also a weird Angie Everhart scene...but she still looks pretty damn amazing!

So, a slightly above average comedy.  If you really like Topher Grace, then you should see this, otherwise, it's a renter at best, but not bad.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.

- Stephenstein

Not to be modeled after

I caught this one on television the other day.  I remember thinking back to the trailer and saying to myself: "Self, that doesn't look too bad."  Mostly because it looked ridiculous and you have to understand most comedies these days suck.  Still, the trailer looked interesting, so I saw it.



Now, the reason I'm writing about this movie is on this blog is because it's a perfect example of my love-hate relationship with comedies these days.  Parts of it were funny (the scene from the trailer where the kid accuses Sean William Scott wanting him to take his pants off, Sean William Scott's reaction to the nerdy kid's speech), I mean laugh-out-loud funny.  There's a ton of LARPing (Live Action Role Playing, though it's not calling that in the movie) scenes.  I mean, battle scenes, it was pretty cool.  Also, Sean William Scott, Paul Rudd and their two kids come out at the end for the final LARP battle dressed as KISS!  I mean, exactly like KISS!  Those are the good parts.

The bad parts are well...bad.  Sean William Scott is an unrepetant womanizer.  He has sex with a girl at a party when he should be looking after his kid.  He gives a girl drugs to have sex with her, but they're sleeping pills, so she falls asleep.  So, he's not only a schmuck, he's a dumb schmuck.  Like, why wouldn't you check what you were giving the girl before you gave it to her.  Unless that was the whole point?  I don't get it, but it was pretty stupid.  The girl herself pissed me off.  She was engaged to this guy and kept rebuffing Scott's advances until they go camping.  Then she throws herself at him, stating that she's only loyal to her fiance "within the city limits of Los Angeles."  At that point, I just wanted Jason Vorhees to show up and kill her.

Then there's Scott's kid, this 10 year old black kid.  He starts out pretty funny, taking a hype on Scott's face (the scene from the trailer), but then he just becomes annoying.  A stereotypical poor black kid, he swears a lot, talks about woman's breasts all the times, talks about sex all the time and acts mean to everyone.  Yet, when Scott leaves him alone at the party and the kid walks home, you're supposed to feel sorry for him.  But, the kid really doesn't have any redeeming qualities.  He's not endearing, he's just an obnoxious little punk. 

The third member of this assness is Jane Lynch, the runner of the Big Brother-esque establishment that Rudd and Scott are serving time at.  She talks about being on drugs and all that and her past in drugs and how she was on drugs and how before she was this big administrator at "Sturdy Wings" she was on drugs...she mentions drugs every single time she shows up.  Like, without fail.  So, I've figured out what Americans do for humour.  They take a joke, beat it into the ground, get some morbidly obese men to sit on it, then they drop a nuke on it, then they hire the Vienna Boys Choir to march up and down on the joke 100,000 times in a day...like, it goes beyond beating a joke to death, it's the same friggin' punch line over and over again.  It wasn't that funny to begin with and it certainly isn't funny now that you've beaten it to death.

So, that's Role Models.  Another deeply flawed comedy in a galaxy of them.  You notice that there's not really any great comedians out there anymore, no great comedy teams.  You want to know why?  Because there are very few people in the movies who understand what makes movies funny.  This is just another in the line.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

They should stick with Edgar Wright

I really like Shaun of the Dead. I really like Hot Fuzz. So, despite the fact this movie looked like a potential crapfest like most comedies these days, I gave this one a chance.

It started out pretty good. I like Nick Frost and Simon Pegg going around, doing stuff. Even though it was set in America, so you figure it will not be clever as American comedies have to beat you over the head in order to make you laugh, I figured that with these two guys here playing British "nerds", it wouldn't be so bad.

Then we're introduced to Paul. Okay, Seth Rogen is voicing Paul so you know the character isn't going to be a saint. Paul is a foul-mouthed, pot-smoking raunchy little alien, but that's to be expected considering who they chose to do the voice. Okay? Then we bring Kristin Wiig (who is currently on SNL) onboard. Kristin plays a goody-two shoes who is jolted out of her religious beliefs by the existence of Paul. What follows is she throws over her beliefs and decides to "live". She starts swearing all the time, smokes up, talks about having sex all the time...and this is supposed to be funny.

Let me make this very clear. I am particular about what I find funny. If someone is doing something ridiculous or weird or the situation makes them look like something they're not (i.e. situational comedy), I like that. I don't like being stupid and that's supposed to be funny. I don't like The Hangover, 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, American Pie, any of those movies. I don't like people swearing for the sake of swearing or getting loaded or being graphic about sex and that's just supposed to be funny on its own. I like clever. We don't get clever anymore it seems, unless it's British comedy. This movie isn't clever. I thought it might be, but it isn't.

Then they pick up Blythe Danner and they make her swear and mention weed and all that. Apparently, these are the only two punchlines they can think of in this movie. Yes, it's funny that an older lady drops the F-bomb and bemoans her weed being destroyed in a blast. That's funny. No, it's stupid. That in itself isn't funny. If they set it up better, if they made it more interesting, I could see it working. They don't, though. There's no artistry in the setup anymore, it's just here, someone's acting against societal norms, laugh. Problem is, I know a lot of people who behave that way, now. The novelty has worn off.

I did like Jason Bateman though, and I liked his work with the two junior officers below him. It was okay and a nice break from Kristin Wiig and Paul. Honestly, if you're going to make a movie about a little alien, make him endearing or something. Maybe Earth corrupted him or whatever, but Paul is just whatever to me. Whether he succeeds in his mission or not is of little consequence to me. Maybe that's the biggest criticism of all.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars.

- Stephenstein

Not the regular guys

So I caught this flick. I thought the previews looked funny, and I usually catch 1 or more comedies a year, so I've hit my quota, I think. I've never been a Wahlberg fan, and Will Ferrell is really hit or miss with me (mostly miss), but the cast intrigued me, so I figured why not?

Well there are a few laughs in this film, and not just stuff in the trailers. I really liked the gag sequence when the two guys are repeatedly bribed by Steve Coogan, and don't know it, and also liked Will Ferrel hiding in the bushes across from his in-laws house and trading dirty things he'd liked to do with Eva Mendes, and vice-versa, through her elderly mother, or grandmother, or whoever the lady with the walker was. Another funny bit is when Michael Keaton forgets where he is, and tells his staff at Bed, Bath and Beyond to be on the lookout for a rapist.

That being said, there's also quite a bit not to like about this movie. First of all, everyone other than Will Ferrell and Eva Mendes is a schmuck. Wahlberg is a hyper-ass. He hates Ferrell for no good reason, he tries to score with Mendes in front of Ferrell (even though he supposedly loves another woman), and he's just an overall ass, he wasn't really funny, and he wasn't really fun to follow around. Then there's The Rock and Samuel L. Jackson. They're only in 3 scenes, but they talk about how the Rock is sleeping with one of the other detective's wives, obviously because he's so cool. Blech. What garbage. There's also another pair of cops, who are just complete assholes, and rivals to Ferrell and Wahlberg. They taunt them mercilessly about how they're going to take over the Rock and Jackson's roles as alpha male cops after they die. Once again, they're pissed off and taunting Ferrell and Wahlberg for no known reason. It's just stupidity.

Then there's Ferrell's backstory. Apparently, he's uptight because he was a pimp in college (named Gator), and because of this, he now goes the opposite way to not go into this Gator persona. However, he does lapse into this persona once in a while, and spouts stereotypical black pimp language. It's not funny, and it's not necessary. It's just idiotic.

Now let's talk about the storyline. I can't describe the storyline. I know that Steve Coogan is the guy they're after, but I don't really know why. I don't know why Ray Stevenson has to keep him with him at all times, and at the end of the film, I don't know why he's selling Coogan to the highest bidder. It makes no sense, but it has something to do with Coogan making bad investments? So why would you sell him? Unless you're passing him off as someone who knows what he's doing? But then, why do it? It makes no sense. Likewise, Anne Heche is in it, and they keep showing her, and alluding that she has something to do with it, as well. This is never made clear, however. It's just a jumbled up mess, it looks like they tried to over-complicate a script for a fairly assinine comedy. Tried to raise it's level, and made it one more strike against the movie.

So, there's The Other Guys. I didn't pay money for it, I'm happy to report. Check it out for free if you can, because it's not worth paying for.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars.

- Stephenstein

Zombies and Annoying Girls

Zombieland...a movie I thought I would like more than I did. In fact, it's probably going to make my worst list of the year. Why? Well, let's put it this way: this movie was top ten material until the girl's showed up...and the pop culture references came with them...and isn't it cool how hip we are with this story, isn't it so about the here and now! I mean yeah, we can have zombies, but let's also have a weak ass romance, as well...and Bill Murray! Let's put in Bill Murray! Yeah, that's good.

But he'll play Bill Murray! Yes! That will be cool! What can our heroes do in Bill Murray's home? How about, smoke some pot! Yes! That's cool! That's so here and now, because everyone sparks up! [high-fives are handed out]

I swear, that must have been what the writer's were thinking. The main character, Columbus, is a nerdy kid who has never been with a girl, has poor social skills, and lives by a list of rules to keep himself alive in Zombieland (there was a virus or something, and everyone except a few people are zombies...not real explanation provided, nor needed). He meets Harrelson, who is searching for the last twinkie on Earth. That's right. Harrelson actually brings some life to the movie, and works as a good foil for Columbus, but it all goes downhill when the girls show up.

First of all, these girls worked as con-girls before the virus hit, which means they were already taking advantage of people before the world basically ended. Now in Zombieland, with so few people not zombies, do you think they've changed their ways? Nope. "Wichita" and "Little Rock" (Wichita's little sister) screw over Columbus and Harrelson twice, even though there's really no reason to do so, especially the second time. Then they tried to play Wichita and Columbus having a romance (which seems really forced, and when Columbus goes to save Wichita at the end of the movie, it makes no sense, considering how many times she screwed him over, especially the 2nd time, which was pretty bad).

This movie also references Facebook, "He's Not That Into You", and other pop culture things of today, which just pisses me off. I hate that sort of thing, because it's just a sad attempt by the writers to show how hip they are, they know all this pop culture stuff, meanwhile, it's all going to be gone in 5 years anyway, I mean Twitter has already partially replaced Facebook, so how long until the rest of this stuff is gone, too? I did like the references to Ghostbusters in the film, and they even kind of acted out one of the scenes from that movie, but all it made me do is watch Ghostbusters, instead of Zombieland.

In the end, there were zombies, there was action, and there was Woody Harrelson...and that's about it. If that's all you want, and you can ignore the other annoying things I mentioned, then you may like this film...and you may also be a redneck!

Rating 2.5 stars

I bid thee a fond pop culture goodnight

- Stephenstein

Not-So-Funny People

I caught this one at my friend's place in London. I usually like Adam Sandler, and I've paid to see Click, 50 First Dates, and Anger Management, so who was I to turn down a viewing of his latest movie for free?

Needless to say, I did not really like Adam Sandler in this movie. In fact, I didn't really like anyone, other than Seth Rogen, (and Jonah Hill, but his part was too small to focus on), and that's saying something, because I don't usually give a monkey crap about Seth Rogen. Here are the reasons I don't like the other characters:

Adam Sandler - has sex with a girl after she tells him she has a boyfriend; belittles Seth Rogen to an insane degree on 2 separate occasions; tries to break up the marriage between Eric Bana and his wife in the movie (her name escapes me, right now), all because he suddenly decided her loved her...which in fact, was really about him supposedly dying (he doesn't die) of a rare disease.

Jason Schwartzman - tells Seth Rogen he will sleep with the girl he (Seth) is interested in after 10 days, if Seth doesn't make a move. Seth makes a date with her, but Jason sleeps with her anyway...but 21 days later, instead of 10 (that's his reasoning, anyway).

Seth's "girlfriend" - sleeps with Jason Schwartzman after making a date with Seth; claims she would sleep with Jude Law and Brad Pitt because they're hot, and famous. It's women like this that make me consider joining a convent...or hope that 2012 comes soon, so we can be put out of our misery (coincidentally, I'll be reviewing that movie, next).

Eric Bana - cheats on his wife

Bana's Wife - considers leaving Eric Bana for Adam Sandler, and destroying her family, all because she's convinced she's in love with Sandler, even though she broke up with him when he didn't care about her, anymore.

Unnamed 2 girls Sandler/Rogen hang out with after standup - 1 sleeps with Sandler immediately, the other one refuses to do anything with Rogen, because she has a boyfriend, but still bangs Sandler, afterward.

Wow, what a great gang of characters. Also, why is all the stand up acts based around genitalia? Every stand up act in the movie, shows the comedians talking about their private parts. It's like, is that all it takes to be a stand up comedian? I can do that! I can stand in front of people, and talk about a conversation my penis and balls had this morning. Is this really what "comedy" is coming to?

In the end, some funny bits, but nowhere near enough to make up for the rest.

Rating 2 out of 5 stars.

I bid thee a fond don't watch this movie.

- Stephenstein

I Don't Really Love You, Man

I'm not really going to write much about seeing this movie, because it doesn't really warrant a lot of discussion. Other than the fact that this movie is one of the few ones I've seen in recent years, that has a male protagonist and female protagonist, that I like, and that I believe would work as a couple. Usually, the chemistry isn't there, but this one has it.

That being said, this movie is just average, mostly due to the annoying Jason Siegel. Okay, maybe he himself isn't annoying, but his character kinda is. He actually reminds me of a guy I used to work with...however, Siegel doesn't try and sleep with his best friend's fiancee, and this guy certainly would have tried...and probably succeeded...which just is my comment on the state of affairs these days. Anyhow, this movie is mildly amusing, it has Lou Ferrigno, who is the best part of this film, so it's not all bad, just really, really non-descript.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

I bid thee a fond goodnight (actually, I have more posts)

- Stephenstein

The Man They Call Bruno

Firstly, I would like to sincerely thank the two guys sitting 4 rows in front of us, who decided to get into a fistfight just before the show opened. You are a testament to the sort of fine upstanding people that walk the streets of our city these days. Keep up the good work!

Okay...so Bruno. You've seen Borat. This is not Borat. This is Bruno. Got it? Bruno. Different character. He's gay. As in homosexual. So, you're going to see a lot of references to this. Over and over again.

Why did I just sound really stupid in my last paragraph? Because, that's how you have to talk to people these days. Like they're dumb. Like they don't understand. Please, words with less with two syllables, please. This movie is like Borat, very graphic, pushing the edge of absurdity (actually, jumping off the edge of absurdity), and very much a commentary on our society. In this case, our uncomfortable co-existence with gay people. Now, I am not gay (contrary to what you may have read on the bathroom stall walls), but I also live and let live, and the fact that there are gay people out there now, having sex probably, doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that some people can't accept these people. Like the audience members who got up and left the movie before it ended. What did you think this movie was about? Hugs and kisses, and teddy bears? Did you not see Borat? Do you not know who Sacha Baron Cohen is? It just proved the point of the movie, which is people are so narrow-minded, they can't think beyond their tiny little realities. They don't realize there's a big world, with different people, with different tastes and perspectives. It's all about what I want, and that's all that mattes. Screw you, Jack (or Bruno).

This movie is just frigging hilarious to boot. Cohen has mastered the ability to keep pushing people, getting more and more ridiculous, while people prove again and again completely incapable of fathoming the hilarity of the situation. Their reactions are as funny as his ludicrous questions and actions; it shows you how utterly insane the world is by large, how one different man can come in and expose just how inane we all are. That is the genius of Sacha Baron Cohen. We laugh at his characters, but in essence, we're laughing at the reactions of the people, and the people are us. We're laughing at our own stupidity.

That's the greatest joke of them all.

Rating: 4 out 5 stars.

I bid thee a fond goodnight

- Stephenstein

The Hangnail

So apparently, this film is really, really funny, or so I've heard from my peers at work. Ebert gave this movie a good review. It's supposed to be so funny, people went to see this movie twice in theatres. It's that good. So I went to see it. Because I still believe what people tell me. For instance, a man last week told me that Santa Claus does exist, and I immediately phoned my building manager, and demanded the chimney be cleared by December 24th, or there'd be hell to pay. Anyhow, so I went to see this movie.

It's not funny. In the least. Okay, maybe Mike Tyson punching out one of the guys. The blackjack scene wasn't bad either, but also not funny. You know what I was supposed to find funny? People's asses. There were at least 2 scenes where I saw a fat, white, hairy ass. I was supposed to find that funny. Problem is, everyone has an ass. Sorry to break that to folks, but it's true. The general ass is probably nothing to write home about. I feel I've discussed the spectrum of plausible conversation with this paragraph about asses. Moving on...oh yeah, there's this naked Chinese guy. He's gay. He swears a lot. This is funny, you know, because I can never imagine a Chinese person being naked. Or gay. Or swearing. It's beyond my comprehension, so I laugh. Except, I can imagine all that, as well as, I can imagine a world where people actually wouldn't find this funny. Unfortunately, this is not this world, so I have to rely on my imagination. Nothing new there.

The real problem, other than the adolescent humour (and really, what more could I have expected, considering the guy who made this brought us Road Trip, Old School, and School for Scoundrels, so obviously, he's reliving a second childhood...or maybe a third one. Never mind). is that the characters suck. The teacher guy hates his life (including his wife and child), and thinks his students are nerds beneath them. The dentist guy is a wuss, who pretends to be on higher moral ground, but ends up in the muck with the rest. Ditto the groom-to-be. Then there's Alan, the bizarre soon-to-be brother-in-law, who slips them all roofies, thinking it's ecstasy, because "he wanted them to have a good time." So, apparently these guys can't have a good time unless they're high. These are people I want to know. No. These are people I don't want to know...never mind following them around for 90+ minutes.

In the end, this movie really goes nowhere, and is not funny. It's predictable, amateurish, and really, quite uninteresting. For those out there who think it's funny, I feel sorry for you; obviously, you have no idea what makes a great comedy film, and you have no idea about the geniuses who before this craptacular garbage. Go rent a movie made by the Marx Bros, or Charlie Chaplin (and yes, I realize they were made a long time ago...but you'll manage...trust me), and understand what true comedy is.

Rating 1.5 out of 5 stars.

I bid thee a fond goodnight.

- Stephenstein

I Love You, Man -- and a word about the Fox Theatre in the Beaches area of Toronto

Last night I was out with my wife and my Wife’s friend in the Beaches area of Toronto. For eons it seems, there’s been a movie theatre there called the Fox that my Wife wanted to go to. It was across the street from the restaurant we were eating at (the “Goof” Chinese Restaurant, nicknamed such because of a mishap with their old neon sign “GOOD FOOD” where the “D” in “GOOD” and the “OOD” in “FOOD” failed to light after a time, spelling “GOOF”, and stayed that way for years), and the marquee at the Fox showed I Love You, Man playing at a time late enough that we felt we could eat comfortably and still make the time to see the movie, if only to visit the Fox. I had never been there before, and I love these old-style “flat” (as opposed to the new stadium seated) theatres that play a mix of new and old films and hold film themed events like “Grindhouse” nights and stuff.

I Love You, Man was an okay comedy about a guy, Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd), who is so girlish that he’s more comfortable around women than men, more of a girlfriend guy. As a result, when he proposes to his girlfriend, he realizes that he doesn’t have very many friends to invite to his wedding, let alone anyone to make his Best Man. So, he tries to find male friends and ends up being buddies with a laid back “dude” kind of guy, Sydney Fife (Jason Segal from TV’s How I Met Your Mother), who teaches him all of the mysterious trappings of male bonding, most of which Peter is very awkward about, trying to sound cool making up terms and nicknames that sound lame. This is basically a romantic comedy about guys that still manages to be about a man and woman getting married. Mix in the regular formula of this genre, like the second-act break up (which happens between Peter and his fiancée and Peter and Sydney), third-act make up (which, again, happens between both parties), goofy comic-relief friends (in this case the fiancees’ horny friend and friend with a pissed off husband played by Jon Favreu, and Peter’s oddly masculinely gay brother Andy Samburg), and unnecessary, random but welcome guest appearances (in this movie’s case it’s Lou frickin’ Ferrigno and Canadian maga-band Rush – and if you don’t believe this is part of the formula, please see Tony Robbins in Shallow Hal).

Lou Ferrigno is awesome in this movie. He appears in maybe 3 scenes, his voice is in two more over the phone, but his presence is everywhere here. Peter has to sell his house over the course of the movie and can’t seem to find buyers. Ferrigno’s house is maybe one of the greatest houses in film. It’s a huge estate, where every room seems to have at least 2 Hulk or Herculese posters and standess. Now, that’s how you decorate a house! There’s even a gigantic Lou Ferrigno statue in the front lawn! There’s at least one scene where Ferrigno fights Jason Segal, to which Peter’s fiancée asks “Who picks a fight with Lou Ferrigno!?” (non-spoiler: Lou Ferrigno wins).

The movie itself was light and fun, with Paul Rudd being appropriately awkward, and J.K. Simmons as Peter’s Dad making appearances here and there (is J.K. Simmons playing everyone’s Dad now??).

2.5 out of 5

The Fox theatre itself was wicked. Looks newly renovated too. If you’re ever in that area of Toronto, I recommend the place. The popcorn was the best I’ve ever tasted (dare I say better than Bloor cinema?) while their fountain drink selection isn’t as varied as Bloor but they make up for it in bottled drinks (and their fountain drinks are mixed better than regular theatres, more tasty). Their schedule of events and movies is a mix of new and classic films, and it seems that the crew that own the place currently are about my age, showing stuff like Superman and Close Encounters with a mix of stuff we would have seen late-night on TV like Clockwork Orange. I really loved their introduction in their hard-copy calendar listing to a program they’re running starting this month called “Way Back Throwback”, to take an excerpt:

“Just what in the past twenty years does the movie industry have to show for itself? What will be Hollywood’s legacy film for ‘Generation Y’? Michael Bay’s Transformers? Great movies are awfully hard to come by these days. How many times have we seen Hollywood remake a totally rad movie from thirty years ago and turn it into a twitching monstrosity with Hilary Duff or Paris Hilton in the lead role? [editor’s rant: Apologies to Ms. Duff (if that is your real name) but everyone knows the role of Bonnie Parker belongs to Faye Dunaway. When will those clowns in Tinsletown learn?]

With all the recent examples of mediocrity and disappointment emanating from the movie industry lately, isn’t it finally time to turn up your nose, put down your foot, and say ‘no more, sir!’ to all the frivolous, heavy-handed remakes? And isn’t a refreshing look back at the finer films of a generation past just what the doctor ordered to cure this ill-gotten disease of recycled, half-baked creativity? We think so.”

Amen, brothers and sisters. Amen.

You can visit their website, which features schedules and listings at: http://www.foxtheatre.ca/

-Deceptisean