The Hangnail

So apparently, this film is really, really funny, or so I've heard from my peers at work. Ebert gave this movie a good review. It's supposed to be so funny, people went to see this movie twice in theatres. It's that good. So I went to see it. Because I still believe what people tell me. For instance, a man last week told me that Santa Claus does exist, and I immediately phoned my building manager, and demanded the chimney be cleared by December 24th, or there'd be hell to pay. Anyhow, so I went to see this movie.

It's not funny. In the least. Okay, maybe Mike Tyson punching out one of the guys. The blackjack scene wasn't bad either, but also not funny. You know what I was supposed to find funny? People's asses. There were at least 2 scenes where I saw a fat, white, hairy ass. I was supposed to find that funny. Problem is, everyone has an ass. Sorry to break that to folks, but it's true. The general ass is probably nothing to write home about. I feel I've discussed the spectrum of plausible conversation with this paragraph about asses. Moving on...oh yeah, there's this naked Chinese guy. He's gay. He swears a lot. This is funny, you know, because I can never imagine a Chinese person being naked. Or gay. Or swearing. It's beyond my comprehension, so I laugh. Except, I can imagine all that, as well as, I can imagine a world where people actually wouldn't find this funny. Unfortunately, this is not this world, so I have to rely on my imagination. Nothing new there.

The real problem, other than the adolescent humour (and really, what more could I have expected, considering the guy who made this brought us Road Trip, Old School, and School for Scoundrels, so obviously, he's reliving a second childhood...or maybe a third one. Never mind). is that the characters suck. The teacher guy hates his life (including his wife and child), and thinks his students are nerds beneath them. The dentist guy is a wuss, who pretends to be on higher moral ground, but ends up in the muck with the rest. Ditto the groom-to-be. Then there's Alan, the bizarre soon-to-be brother-in-law, who slips them all roofies, thinking it's ecstasy, because "he wanted them to have a good time." So, apparently these guys can't have a good time unless they're high. These are people I want to know. No. These are people I don't want to know...never mind following them around for 90+ minutes.

In the end, this movie really goes nowhere, and is not funny. It's predictable, amateurish, and really, quite uninteresting. For those out there who think it's funny, I feel sorry for you; obviously, you have no idea what makes a great comedy film, and you have no idea about the geniuses who before this craptacular garbage. Go rent a movie made by the Marx Bros, or Charlie Chaplin (and yes, I realize they were made a long time ago...but you'll manage...trust me), and understand what true comedy is.

Rating 1.5 out of 5 stars.

I bid thee a fond goodnight.

- Stephenstein