Turn to the Dark.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon.


Ok to recap. I hate the first film, and the second one is a bit better, since more robot action, but the bad comedy in both really kills them.


Before I begin on TF3 -


Let me explain something first. I love robots fighting each other. Period. I love Ultraman, Robot Jox, Robot Wars, and anything that involves robots (I’m sure I’ll like Real Steel when it comes out this week), so I love the idea of Transformers.


I loved the old cartoon and the movie that came from it. That movie is a masterpiece, even though they end up killing off a lot of the classic Autobots in order to bring in new ones. That cartoon movie was made to sell toys, so they were basically killing off their old toyline to introduce a new one. But when they killed Optimus Prime, children were crying in the theatre. At that point Hasbro knew they had more than just a toyline, they had characters that people grew to love.


They weren’t just robots, they were people, think of C3PO, is he just a robot? R2-D2, or Johnny Five, or you can even think of ET, or Yoda, are they just puppets, no, they are characters that people love.


So when you call a movie Transformers and then destroy all the characters that were created you really kill people’s feelings inside. These are not just a bunch of garbage characters that people don’t care about; they have a following of loyal fans that care about them.


But a lot of people feel the same way about the Dolph Lundgren Masters of the Universe movie, which I love, and even though it’s not the cartoon, I still think it’s great. I judge it as a movie on its own, not as a He-Man movie – same goes for Dark Knight – a great film, but not really a great Batman film (although it’s pretty darn good anyway).


If I was to judge the Michael Bay Transformer movies as just movies themselves, then they are just ok. Part one doesn’t make any sense, the story I mean. Forget about the fact that none of the characters are accurate; pretend I don’t know anything about TF. Well then if I look at it that way, then I must say that the comedy in part one is terrible, offensive (giant robots pissing on people) and that the leader robot (Optimus Prime) is clumsy and breaks the fountain and that some kid defeats the main villain robot (Megatron) and Prime is left laying on the ground like a bitch.


Remember I am someone who knows nothing about the real Transformers, so seeing the main villain robot defeated by a kid is really bad – for any movie. Then on to part 2 – I like it more than part one because there are more robots and the story revolves more around them, but the comedy is so bad that again it really ruins things. The action is much better and we can see it for once, so that is good, but not enough to satisfy me (remember I don’t know anything about the TF’s only judging from an average viewer standpoint).


So judging from an average viewer, then this third movie is clearly the best. The story makes more sense than part one (that being said, there are tons of plot holes – but I mean not any more or less than Robot Jox).


So from that view, I enjoyed this movie a lot actually and would say that I really liked it! This may be the Transformers version of Masters of the Universe (although not nearly as good), but at least I could follow the plot and there was A LOT of robot action – again I am ignoring the fact they killed off Ironhide – remember he is just a robot, he is not the real Ironhide that I love, so I don’t see him as anything but a robot.


But yes, the action here is incredible and the robots are pretty darn cool. Sentinel Prime is really wicked too and I love how Megaton has a hood and cape (remember both characters here are ruined, but I don’t know that, I am an average person).


So all in all I would highly recommend this third one to action fans. Or anyone who wants to see a bunch of destruction – and Shockwave provides a lot of that! (again Shockwave is ruined as he does next to nothing in the story, but he looks cool).


So if it’s any consolation, this is the very best of the series by far and it’s even enjoyable to watch. At least this one doesn’t have offensive humor, the humor is still not funny, but it’s less than 2 and not as offensive, so I can live with it – maybe (I have the bluray so I can ff any bad stuff).


It’s not like Robot Jox doesn’t have tons of flaws etc, but I still love it. The big problem is calling it “Transformers” then NOT delivering what we want.


I think if you can put away your hatred for them ruining the characters, then you can enjoy this for what it is. That’s a big IF though and honestly deep down this movie still sucks – it’s not even as neat as Masters of the Universe because there at least the hero and villain were pretty accurate and that movie still had some heart to it, this one doesn’t. It is just a straightforward action fest with robots – nothing more, but what can you expect from Bay.


PS – this is Bay’s best movie and it’s the only one I would say that I liked – from an action standpoint.


As a Transformers fan I still have to say it sucks (although it’s better than 1 or 2) and I am hoping and praying for Transformers Begins.


4/5 (based on an average viewer – it would be 2.5/5 for TF fans)


J-Man.