Sunday, August 21, 2011


Conan the Barbarian.

So this is the big one for me. Conan is my number one favourite movie of all time. I even have a Conan tattoo. I love the Arnold movie and the character of Conan is second only to Superman. So I was really hyped for this movie.

And if you ask anyone what a Conan movie should be they would probably say “fighting, killing, blood, guts, babes and blades.” And I would say that this movie delivered in that department.

But if you ask an actual Conan fan, or someone who has read the original works and who loves the Arnold movie, they would tell you that Conan needs to have a certain epic feel, and depth. Conan and his world are very real in the original stories. Sure he is tough and there is a lot of bloodshed, but there is also a soul.

Read, Rogues in the House, or Tower of the Elephant, or even Frost Giant’s Daughter (a simple story but told very poetically) and you will see that Conan is MORE than a muscular guy that kicks ass.

This movie is ALL fighting. One battle after another with no rhyme or reason as to what is going on. I mean the amount of battles even wore me out! There is no story at all. Conan wants revenge that’s it. I know the old movie may seem boring to some, or may seem like it had no story, but go back and watch it! The story and the way it was told is amazing. It had character, philosophy, relationships, tone, meaning, heart and soul.

I really don’t want to make this review too long, but if you want to know how I feel, check out the Conan movie blog and read his review (click here) – it’s long, but I agree with what he is saying.

Conan deserves a better movie than this. There is technically nothing wrong with the movie. Jason Momoa was GREAT as Conan and Rose Mcgowan was really cool as the witch, but again, not enough time is devoted to character. I think Momoa could be an amazing Conan if the script and story allow it.

What was presented on screen though was good, now I just want 30 mins more story and character.

This isn’t a Transformers, or Superman Returns by any stretch, but it was just a passable action flick like any other. Conan as a literary character deserves more.

He has figures, books, cartoons, TV shows, movies, newspaper strips, comics, magazines, art, role-playing games, an mmorpg, and even poetry. This is an iconic character that is known throughout the world, and he needs to have a movie with depth to really give him justice.

The movie we got was a 16 year old kids interpretation of Conan – “he just fights and kills guys” – well no, he doesn’t. You really think a character that only fights could last this long and create such a legacy? There must be something more, and this movie doesn’t show it.

As I said, there is nothing really wrong with it technically, but it just has no soul. Take that from a guy who has a Conan shrine in his room.



1 comment:

  1. Agreed.

    I actually was disappointed in what I watched, but I couldn't quite place what exactly the movie lacked. "Soul" is probably the most accurate.

    I feel that the movie was fine for around two-thirds in before things went south. Random locations, loss of character, and just bad cinematography.

    On the plus side, I think the locations were fleshed out well, and the Conan universe was appropriately vast (we ARE talking about a Pangea-like continent, here). Everyone played their part greatly, and Momoa most certainly did a great job portraying Conan in a different light than Schwarzenegger's. But, that's just not good enough. The story fell apart, and the production felt rushed nearing the end of the movie.

    By no means am I saying that people who want to see Conan shouldn't see it. Go ahead and see it, but go in with your expectations a little lowered.