So, I watched Twilight: New Moon. It’s alright. As always with these Twilight movies, they shove a cool guy-thing at the end to reward the boyfriends/husbands/whoever for sticking through to the end (I know these elements must be in the books, but I can’t help thinking they’re guy-oriented). With the first movie, it was that vampire tracker/killer that was relentlessly stalking Bella and the vampire family (the Cullens) teaming up to kill him. With New Moon, there’s this vampire main head-quarters area (or something) the characters have to go to towards the end with all these vampires that are more in-tune with what we know as vampires: dangerous, demonic killers. The sequence is about 15 minutes and features a fight between Edward and this huge vampire which was cool but all too brief.
In a nut-shell, Edward’s vampire family decides that they look too young and have been in Forks too long for their cover-age and it’s time to move on. Edward refuses to bite Bella and turn her into a vampire like him to be his eternal mate, because apparently vampires are damned and have no soul. Edward doesn’t want to damn Bella. Anyhow, Edward breaks up with Bella, the Cullens leave, and Bella descends into a deep depression for months. She discovers that adrenaline rushes generate visions of Edward, and she goes in search of ways to induce this (including hooking up with potential rapists, etc.). She then gets her childhood friend Jacob to fix a pair of junker motor-bikes she found, and her and Jacob become closer as she hangs out with him more. Thing is, Jacob is going through changes himself, and discovers his heritage as a werewolf. He breaks up with Bella fearing for her safety (one of the traits of werewolves is that they have a violent temper. He’s also super-buff (as a result of the change, apparently). Anyhoo, the chick from part one whose vampire partner was killed by the Cullens is after Bella. Edward hears that Bella was killed by this woman, and tries to commit suicide, Bella (with the help of the friendly vampire girl from part one, can’t remember her name) travels to Italy (in one second apparently) to stop him (most vamps hang out in Italy. News to me). There, a bunch of cool stuff happens (belatedly) and Edward is saved. He returns to Forks, he and Jacob have a face-off over Bella, Bella’s back with Edward, I puke.
Jacob cutting his hair is semi-explained as well as Edward not biting Bella. There’s a disturbing undertone that people don’t talk much about. In the movie, one of the werewolf pack that Jacob hangs with has a human fiancé with half her face cut up. It’s implied that the werewolf fiancé did it. In other parts of the movie, Bella discovers that she has to put herself in danger to see visions of Edward as he warns her to not hurt herself. I haven’t read the books, but from reading message boards, this idea sounds like it goes further in the book in that the Bella has to physically hurt herself to see Edward. Is that true? Are the books saying that physical abuse towards women is a normal part of a relationship? I understand that these girls are dating monsters and that wouldn’t be normal, but WTF? Is this element necessary?
The movie is passable. I realize now that I hate Edward. I hate that whole brooding “pity-me” insipidness. It’s funny how any suspense at all could be gleaned from these books. Judging by the movies, it’s obvious that Bella ends up with Edward. Jacob seems like a cheap thrill for Bella and their relationship doesn’t seem convincing. Then again, Bella/Edward doesn’t feel convincing either. And it always made me laugh that the entertainment media kept trying to wring more suspense out of who Bella would choose leading into the latest movie release Eclipse. I mean, aren’t these based on books that have been out for a few years now? You had Pat O'Brien yelling through TV screens everywhere “WHO DOES BELLA END UP WITH???” Well, in the books she ends up with Edward, you fool. Why does Pat O’Brien even care? He’s like 61 or something. Hell, why do I even care? I don’t, but I thought I’d give these movies a shot.
I give it 2 out of 5. It’s not absolute shite, but it’s overly long for what it’s doing (like Twilight 1) and I just want to see scary vampires make a comeback again (though I don’t think that’s happening anytime soon).
In a nut-shell, Edward’s vampire family decides that they look too young and have been in Forks too long for their cover-age and it’s time to move on. Edward refuses to bite Bella and turn her into a vampire like him to be his eternal mate, because apparently vampires are damned and have no soul. Edward doesn’t want to damn Bella. Anyhow, Edward breaks up with Bella, the Cullens leave, and Bella descends into a deep depression for months. She discovers that adrenaline rushes generate visions of Edward, and she goes in search of ways to induce this (including hooking up with potential rapists, etc.). She then gets her childhood friend Jacob to fix a pair of junker motor-bikes she found, and her and Jacob become closer as she hangs out with him more. Thing is, Jacob is going through changes himself, and discovers his heritage as a werewolf. He breaks up with Bella fearing for her safety (one of the traits of werewolves is that they have a violent temper. He’s also super-buff (as a result of the change, apparently). Anyhoo, the chick from part one whose vampire partner was killed by the Cullens is after Bella. Edward hears that Bella was killed by this woman, and tries to commit suicide, Bella (with the help of the friendly vampire girl from part one, can’t remember her name) travels to Italy (in one second apparently) to stop him (most vamps hang out in Italy. News to me). There, a bunch of cool stuff happens (belatedly) and Edward is saved. He returns to Forks, he and Jacob have a face-off over Bella, Bella’s back with Edward, I puke.
Jacob cutting his hair is semi-explained as well as Edward not biting Bella. There’s a disturbing undertone that people don’t talk much about. In the movie, one of the werewolf pack that Jacob hangs with has a human fiancé with half her face cut up. It’s implied that the werewolf fiancé did it. In other parts of the movie, Bella discovers that she has to put herself in danger to see visions of Edward as he warns her to not hurt herself. I haven’t read the books, but from reading message boards, this idea sounds like it goes further in the book in that the Bella has to physically hurt herself to see Edward. Is that true? Are the books saying that physical abuse towards women is a normal part of a relationship? I understand that these girls are dating monsters and that wouldn’t be normal, but WTF? Is this element necessary?
The movie is passable. I realize now that I hate Edward. I hate that whole brooding “pity-me” insipidness. It’s funny how any suspense at all could be gleaned from these books. Judging by the movies, it’s obvious that Bella ends up with Edward. Jacob seems like a cheap thrill for Bella and their relationship doesn’t seem convincing. Then again, Bella/Edward doesn’t feel convincing either. And it always made me laugh that the entertainment media kept trying to wring more suspense out of who Bella would choose leading into the latest movie release Eclipse. I mean, aren’t these based on books that have been out for a few years now? You had Pat O'Brien yelling through TV screens everywhere “WHO DOES BELLA END UP WITH???” Well, in the books she ends up with Edward, you fool. Why does Pat O’Brien even care? He’s like 61 or something. Hell, why do I even care? I don’t, but I thought I’d give these movies a shot.
I give it 2 out of 5. It’s not absolute shite, but it’s overly long for what it’s doing (like Twilight 1) and I just want to see scary vampires make a comeback again (though I don’t think that’s happening anytime soon).
Oh, and Grahm Green is in this thing. I think he dies (I zoned out, but I think Jacob says he died of a heart attack and you just don't see him anymore in the movie after that, so it must be true. Cheap.).
-Deceptisean
-Deceptisean
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