I used to be a big sucker for movies like Dream House. A thriller with an interesting premise...even if the trailer gives away half the damn movie, it still looked like it had promise. Okay, maybe I still am a sucker for these types of movies...or trailers if you will.
Did I like Dream House? I liked bits of it. The intro is standard: the happy family who are renovating the new house they just moved in to. Then weird stuff happens. We come to find out their were murders involving the previous owners the house, the father went nuts and murdered his wife and two daughters. People won't look James Bond, I mean Daniel Craig in the eye. They look skittish around him. No...could it be?
Well yes, the second part of the film implies that Craig did indeed off the wifey and the two little ones. For me, this was the most interesting part of the movie. Craig comes to the realization that he may have been responsible for their murders and the ghosts (or is it hallucinations of Craig's sick mind?) refuse to believe that he killed them. No matter how much he tries to convince them...or is it himself he's trying to convince?
Anyhow, the last third of the movie is just, it's ludicrous. This is where Dream House fails. Suffice to say, they had the real opportunity to do something different with this film, make it unique and something you don't see every day. However, they went totally mainstream for the last part of the movie and it's really, really awful. I'm talking contrived, tacked-on-so-we-can-have-a-happy-ending nonsense. It makes no sense not just in the context of the movie, but in the framework of an everyday world. This is really the sort of movie that needs, no DEMANDS more of a downer or dry ending. Instead, it oddly turns out all roses and tulips.
Unfortunately too, the way the film was put-together, you'll be able to know the final twist a mile away. I'm not talking about "I think this happened", I'm talking about "this happened and this and this are the people involved." It was almost like they got a neat script and they were like "okay, how can we make this completely amateurish?"
It's a shame really, because the promise for the film is there. It's just not executed very well. All the actors try hard but in actuality, they were there for a paycheck, you get the sense that all of them pretty much knew how this film was going to turn out. I guess the best thing to come of this from Craig is he married Rachel Weisz in real life. I guess that's a nice consolation prize for having this cheese on his filmography.
Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars.
- Stephenstein
J-Man showed me the original a while back. The trailer for this one looked not half-bad, so I was curious to see it, even though it was a remake. I didn't pay money to see it though, which in retrospect, was probably a good thing...
So, for those of you who are fans of the original, you won't be surprised to read that it's way better than this remake? Why? Simple. The first one was more subtle, more clever, more charming. Nothing embodies that more than Chris Sarandon, the original Jerry. He was suave, he was charismatic. When he seduced Amanda Bearse in the infamous club scene, you can believe despite the fact she's a virgin and won't even sleep with her boyfriend, Sarandon could somehow woo her out of her clothes, which he basically does, before turning her (temporarily) into a vampire. In this version of the film, they're in the club, but Colin Farrell just picks Amy up and slings her over his shoulder like a caveman, there is a brief, very lame attempt at a seduction on his part.
That's the problem with this film, though. It just takes all the elements from the first film and continuously slams you over the head with it. Farrell is a lot more overtly menacing as Jerry than Sarandon was, but because he so damned creepy, when Charley is telling his friends and Mom that Jerry's a vampire, they would at least think there's something wrong with the guy. Another problem is, there's something wrong with almost everyone in the movie. Charley at the beginning doesn't talk to Ed because he figures Amy, his girlfriend won't talk to him if he's friends with Ed because Ed is a huge nerd...which Charley is too, by the way. Jerry is just a sleazy, creepy player who attracts women with his bad-boy persona. Amy, she doesn't really do anything wrong, but you can sort of sense she can be a bitch if she needs to. Peter Vincent is a huge disappointment, he's a drunken, womanizing, cowardly jackass. It's hard to like any of the main characters, especially in the first twenty or so minutes in the film.
That's not to say there isn't some good parts of the film. The pacing is pretty good, there's a lot of stalking by Jerry on Charley and Amy and it doesn't take long for things to get moving, it's already established that Jerry is a vampire fifteen minutes into the film. Peter Vincent is an actual occult student who knows lore about vampires and he has all sorts of cool artifacts and what-not in his penthouse. I find Imogen Poots a lot more attractive as Amy than Amanda Bearse. Yup, I'm reaching now, because there isn't a lot going for the film, the best thing I can say about it is it's pretty relentless in it's pace. It's pretty evident that they missed a lot about what made the first film so good, though.
So, that's Fright Night. It's a straight vampire movie missing all of the charm of the first film. It was sort of neat for Charley to be this horror movie fan and he gets to fight an actual vampire with Peter Vincent, whose show he watches on late-night television. This Charley is a bland dweeb who is just lucky he got a girlfriend as hot as Amy, there's nothing that really stands out about him. At the end of the day, if you can't cheer for the hero, you have to cheer for the villain, but he's nowhere as good as the original, either. So, do yourself a favour, don't bother with this one and just pop in the original.
Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars.
- Stephenstein
Transformers: Dark of the Moon.
Ok to recap. I hate the first film, and the second one is a bit better, since more robot action, but the bad comedy in both really kills them.
Before I begin on TF3 -
Let me explain something first. I love robots fighting each other. Period. I love Ultraman, Robot Jox, Robot Wars, and anything that involves robots (I’m sure I’ll like Real Steel when it comes out this week), so I love the idea of Transformers.
I loved the old cartoon and the movie that came from it. That movie is a masterpiece, even though they end up killing off a lot of the classic Autobots in order to bring in new ones. That cartoon movie was made to sell toys, so they were basically killing off their old toyline to introduce a new one. But when they killed Optimus Prime, children were crying in the theatre. At that point Hasbro knew they had more than just a toyline, they had characters that people grew to love.
They weren’t just robots, they were people, think of C3PO, is he just a robot? R2-D2, or Johnny Five, or you can even think of ET, or Yoda, are they just puppets, no, they are characters that people love.
So when you call a movie Transformers and then destroy all the characters that were created you really kill people’s feelings inside. These are not just a bunch of garbage characters that people don’t care about; they have a following of loyal fans that care about them.
But a lot of people feel the same way about the Dolph Lundgren Masters of the Universe movie, which I love, and even though it’s not the cartoon, I still think it’s great. I judge it as a movie on its own, not as a He-Man movie – same goes for Dark Knight – a great film, but not really a great Batman film (although it’s pretty darn good anyway).
If I was to judge the Michael Bay Transformer movies as just movies themselves, then they are just ok. Part one doesn’t make any sense, the story I mean. Forget about the fact that none of the characters are accurate; pretend I don’t know anything about TF. Well then if I look at it that way, then I must say that the comedy in part one is terrible, offensive (giant robots pissing on people) and that the leader robot (Optimus Prime) is clumsy and breaks the fountain and that some kid defeats the main villain robot (Megatron) and Prime is left laying on the ground like a bitch.
Remember I am someone who knows nothing about the real Transformers, so seeing the main villain robot defeated by a kid is really bad – for any movie. Then on to part 2 – I like it more than part one because there are more robots and the story revolves more around them, but the comedy is so bad that again it really ruins things. The action is much better and we can see it for once, so that is good, but not enough to satisfy me (remember I don’t know anything about the TF’s only judging from an average viewer standpoint).
So judging from an average viewer, then this third movie is clearly the best. The story makes more sense than part one (that being said, there are tons of plot holes – but I mean not any more or less than Robot Jox).
So from that view, I enjoyed this movie a lot actually and would say that I really liked it! This may be the Transformers version of Masters of the Universe (although not nearly as good), but at least I could follow the plot and there was A LOT of robot action – again I am ignoring the fact they killed off Ironhide – remember he is just a robot, he is not the real Ironhide that I love, so I don’t see him as anything but a robot.
But yes, the action here is incredible and the robots are pretty darn cool. Sentinel Prime is really wicked too and I love how Megaton has a hood and cape (remember both characters here are ruined, but I don’t know that, I am an average person).
So all in all I would highly recommend this third one to action fans. Or anyone who wants to see a bunch of destruction – and Shockwave provides a lot of that! (again Shockwave is ruined as he does next to nothing in the story, but he looks cool).
So if it’s any consolation, this is the very best of the series by far and it’s even enjoyable to watch. At least this one doesn’t have offensive humor, the humor is still not funny, but it’s less than 2 and not as offensive, so I can live with it – maybe (I have the bluray so I can ff any bad stuff).
It’s not like Robot Jox doesn’t have tons of flaws etc, but I still love it. The big problem is calling it “Transformers” then NOT delivering what we want.
I think if you can put away your hatred for them ruining the characters, then you can enjoy this for what it is. That’s a big IF though and honestly deep down this movie still sucks – it’s not even as neat as Masters of the Universe because there at least the hero and villain were pretty accurate and that movie still had some heart to it, this one doesn’t. It is just a straightforward action fest with robots – nothing more, but what can you expect from Bay.
PS – this is Bay’s best movie and it’s the only one I would say that I liked – from an action standpoint.
As a Transformers fan I still have to say it sucks (although it’s better than 1 or 2) and I am hoping and praying for Transformers Begins.
4/5 (based on an average viewer – it would be 2.5/5 for TF fans)
J-Man.
The Karate Kid.
Ok, let’s get going here. The original Karate Kid is one of my all-time favorite films. I love part one and two, and I have memorized the dialogue even. Deceptisean (who sometimes posts on here) is a big fan too and both of us often quote dialogue and talk about certain scenes that we loved in the old movies.
So here comes this remake which is pointless to be sure, and in fact, Jaden Smith doesn’t even learn Karate! He learns Kung Fu. So why not call it the Kung Fu Kid? Well that wouldn’t guaranty seats like calling it Karate Kid would.
If you ignore that part of it, the title and the fact that it’s a remake, it’s not a bad movie. It’s not great either though, as its structure is exactly the same as the old one. However, this one takes place in China.
The scenery in this film is bloody amazing. China is a beautiful place and I was taken aback by some of the shots in this flick. Jaden is believable and likeable in this role, and Jackie Chan just rocks in anything he does. The villains here aren’t quite as nasty as the old one, I guess since we are dealing with 12 year olds, they can’t be shown to be as brutal, but it does take some of the emotion away. I remember the old movie, and how I hated the villains, I wanted them dead! In this one I was more impressed with their martial arts skill than being pissed off at them.
That being said, they still suck and bullies need to be beaten up and they are. There is no crane kick, and no wax on, wax off, but they substitute with others moves and training, which are lame in comparison.
Another thing, I don’t think the emotional bond and relationship between Jaden and Chan was a good as the original one. I mean Daniel and Miyagi are so great that you actually feel as though they are truly friends and it feels so real that I thought maybe they were best friends in real life too. And I even felt envious of Daniel – I wanted a friend like Miyagi too.
Another quick point is that in the original one, the trainer was a white guy who was a Vietnam veteran and used karate for fighting, and he taught his students that. Miyagi taught Daniel the true meaning of karate, so it makes sense coming from Miyagi – he knows what karate truly is. I doubt that in China an evil trainer would train little kids bad stuff, when Kung Fu is super respected in China. And in the old one, the villains were spoiled rich white guys, so they get defeated by Daniel who knows the real value of karate (how it brings balance to his life etc) and he is on equal terms. I think it would be tough for little Jaden to defeat a bunch of Chinese guys!
In this one, Kung Fu is used just for sport, Jaden doesn’t really apply any of the teachings to real life. One thing that is good in the remake is that the mother has a larger role and Jaden is able to win over this Chinese girl’s father (he doesn’t approve of her being friends with Jaden) by using words instead of trying some stupid trick to impress her. I thought that was great!
All in all, this was a good movie; it won’t be remembered as much as the old one, but I am hoping that kids seek out the old one if they enjoy seeing this one.
So check it out as a companion piece to the original, you’ll like it.
3.5/5
J-Man.
The Crazies.
Remake of George A Romero’s classic. I own the original and watched it ages ago. I don’t remember much about it, except that I thought it was a bit slow. This one isn’t slow and gets going pretty fast.
I liked this movie. Good atmosphere and I thought it was pretty plausible. So not all remakes are bad, and Romero was the executive producer on this one, so that’s cool.
If you don’t know, the plot is about a virus turning local residents of Ogden crazy. They go around killing their families and anyone that comes near them. They are basically zombies, but have more motor functions. They can run, use weapons, and are smarter. So in fact, they are much worse than zombies (although I like them less – zombies rock!).
The military knows about the virus, since they created it, they show up and quarantine the town by basically killing anyone in it.
Our heroes must survive and get out of town, but will getting out really save them?
Who knows…
4/5
J-Man.
Vampire’s Suck.
Oh they suck, and not only do they suck, but this movie about them sucks. I got this for free on bluray and I think I was ripped off.
Now, maybe it’s not that bad, I did get like 3 laughs and 2 chuckles, but honestly Twilight is really silly enough on it’s own and it doesn’t require a spoof. These spoof movies, Teen movie, Spartans, Scary Movie, etc, are getting a bit tiresome and it’s like, make a funny movie that spoofs life, or something generic that doesn’t require you have to have seen the thing it’s spoofed on.
Something like Airplane comes to mind. Or just make a new comedy that isn’t Hangover. Whatever, maybe if I saw more than just Twilight part one, I would find it funnier, but as it stands, it’s just pretty flat.
I know some may be thinking, duh, what else did you expect out of this movie, and I agree with that.
So there.
2.5/5
J-Man.
I haven't read the book that this was based on. Nevertheless, I know most of the story behind it. Moneyball was a way for teams in smaller markets with lesser payrolls to compete with the New York's, the Boston's and the Los Angeles' of the world. It was a way to make your team competitive without spending 100 million on the payroll like the Yankees and Boston do every year. It's an innovative way of building a sport's team in this day and age, a strategy used by almost everyone to this day. So, how did it stack up?
First, all these "based on a true story" stuff has one natural flaw: some of the stuff didn't really happen. I'm not just talking about minor details like so-and-so didn't ask for cookies from this other person. I'm talking about this major character who does all this stuff in the movie doesn't actually exist. In this movie's case, Jonah Hill's character never existed, at least not as one person. He is actually a composite of several people, who were the real-life Billy Beane's (Brad Pitt's character) assistants and lieutenants. Well who cares, as long as what he did was done by someone in real life, right? However, the movie really goes out its way to show Hill's isolation from the rest of the traditional baseball people in the organization. It endears his character quickly to the viewer, as the underdog nerdy smart kid in the room full of people who think they know better. However, if Hill's character doesn't really exist, then that scene probably never happened, so based on what true story?
The other thing people should be aware of is that Pitt's character is not the person who actually came up with Moneyball. That's Hill's character. The only thing is, Pitt has just lost 3 of his best players to teams with higher payrolls, so he has no alternative but to do something drastic. Pitt's character should be credited with giving Hill's character the platform and opportunity to put his plans into action, but that's it. However, the movie delves into Billy Beane's personal life, the reason behind his philosophy and what not. However, that's like going into the life of the guy who got the scientists together for the Manhattan Project. He didn't really do anything but assemble the guys, they're the ones who did the breakthrough. So, these scenes are really unnecessary, as Pitt's character did nothing really but recognize the guy who changed the way baseball's business was done and only then it was done out of pure desperation, it wasn't like he had a big vision or anything.
That being said, I really did enjoy the movie. Pitt's portrayal of Beane is spot-on (from what I understand about the real man) and the interplay between Pitt and Hill is really good and often funny as well. The scene with the trade conversations at the deadline was hilarious! If that stuff is how it's actually done, then I would love to be a baseball GM, just to involved in such sheer lunacy. This is a movie that can really be viewed by baseball fans and non-fans, though my feeling is baseball fans will probably get more enjoyment out of the movie.
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars.
- Stephenstein
