Better than a Gladiator

Centurion.

Well, I've liked every Neil Marshall film I've seen to date (Dog Soldiers, Descent, Doomsday). I also own every Neil Marshall film to date. Why? Because Neill Marshall likes movies, and he knows what audiences like about movies: great characters, intense scenes, good action, interesting premises, and cool storylines. He came out with this little film here, and no one saw it because it got a limited release. For shame Hollywood. For shame.

For those who don't know what this movie is about, it's about the Romans and the Picts. The Romans had this vast empire, but were having problems in Northern Britain, where the Picts were located. They were fighting back against the Empire, so they had to do something about it. Cue the 9th Legion, their most feared battalion. Led by Dominic West's General, and sent by Paul Freeman (Rene Belloc from Indiana Jones), these guys run into resistance. Eventually, Michael Fassbender (Inglourious Basterds) tries to lead the survivors of the massacre back to freedom, and that's where the fun really begins.

Now, let's take what we know about most war films. Let's say Steven Spielberg is directing a war film. The Americans are the good guys, and the Nazi's are the bad guys. The Americans are noble, altruistic apple pie types, who fight for liberty, justice and the American Way. The Nazis are evil, child-murdering, remorseless bastards who would kill their own mother for a dime. Sound familiar? Yeah, this movie isn't that. It's war as it really is. There's no good guys, and there's no bad guys...there's just brutality, and in this film, there is a LOT of brutality and gore.

I guess Fassbender is the one true good guy in the movie, even though he's on the side of the Romans, who aren't so good. I'm talking about stabbing your friend and leaving him to die to the wolves so you can survive bad. Then again, the Picts aren't much better, and actually display similar behaviour to the Romans. They decapitate their quarry, they scare and outcast their own people, they fight the Romans, but the odd thing is, they are the Romans in some twisted way. It's neat stuff, and definitely not your run of the mill war movie.

I have to touch on Olga Kurylenko. She was in Quantum of Solace (or Quantum of Sol-ass, if you will), and really didn't show much in the film. In this movie, she's probably the most feared and fearsome character in the film. She's a mute Pict tracker and hunter, and whoo-boy, is she lethal. Ask the poor guy who tried to assassinate Paul Freeman who scary she is. The thing is, you hate her through the film, because she's just so brutal, and so relentless, but her back story is so terrible, you kind of feel sorry for her, even though you want her dead at the same time. It's a really unique feeling.

Be warned though, there's gore galore in this film, and it doesn't flinch from showing you the gruesome details. I can see a lot of people not being able to stomach some of what they see, but hey, Neill Marshall has already demonstrated he has an unflinching mondus operandi in all things bloody, so just know who you're getting into.

Problems with the movie? I guess the only thing I can say is, because all the characters are real, and not completely good or bad, you're kind of left on the fence about who you're really rooting for in this film. Fassbender is the most likeable character, but even he has his flaws -- you get the sense that he can be just as brutal and unforgiving to his opponents as the rest. While this is a fresh take on this sort of film, it also compells the viewer to ever so slightly not give a damn who ends up dead. That's a small critique though, considering how really good this movie is.

Rating 4 out of 5 stars.

- Stephenstein

The Hurt Locker (where people get hurt)

I've always been rather adamant that the U.S. should pull out of places in the Middle East, like Iraq, as they really aren't solving anything, and all it's doing is putting American soldier's lives in danger. Then along comes a movie like The Hurt Locker. Now, I'm sure they should pull out, and better yet, not even enlist to go there, because if you think war was Hell, you should see what the guys in this film goes through.

Basically, the film is about the last days of a 3 man platoon of bomb specialists, knows as Bravo company, and the "unique" situations that they come across. Things like, bombs in the streets, bombs in cars, bombs attached to people, bombs in corpses, everything, and anything may be a bomb. As well, there are snipers, kidnappers, insurgents, and guys who might have any sort of device to detonate a bomb, from phones to watches. If I walked away from this movie knowing one thing, it's that the terrorists in this movie know how to make frigging bombs.

The other thing I realize, is that you have to be insane to go over there and serve, especially in that unit, and if you're not insane when you leave, you definitely are when you leave. A former co-worker has a brother who served in Afghanistan, and when he came back, he would do things like drop down to check under his car for bombs, or suddenly zone out and check for snipers. The soldiers in this movie are depicted as being paranoid, and with good reason. You never know who the hell is out there with a bomb, or a gun, or something to end your life. It's absolute madness, and if real life is even ten percent of what this movie showed, then they should be pulled out of there, right now.

The really screwed up thing though, is the lead, Jeremy Renner (who has been mentioned as possiblities to play both Captain America or Hawkeye...he centainly has that All-American look), returns home, and finds that all he's good at, is defusing bombs. He comes back with horror stories about murders in the streets, and what not, and his family just has no frame of reference to talk to him about it, so he returns for another tour of duty, because these guys can't intergrate back into "normal" society, the stuff that happens over there is just so deranged and unbelievable, that the only place they feel comfortable is in an environment like that, you can't watch a father of four blown to bits in the street, and then return home to pick out cereal, it's just too surreal.

So in the end, this was a really good movie, a little draggy in parts, but nothing to get too excited about. It doesn't have a lot of re-watchability, but it is something I would recommend watching at least once.

Rating 4 stars.

I bid thee a fond goodnight

- Stephenstein

Raise your hand, if you're a Basterd

I'm not a huge fan of Quentin Tarantino's films. I fell asleep during Reservoir Dogs, I thought Pulp Fiction was somewhat interesting, but nevertheless have no intention of watching it again, never saw Jackie Brown...Kill Bill Volume 1 was awesome, 2 was a bit of a letdown, and Death Proof was definitely the weaker of the Grindhouse films. Which leads me to Inglourious Basterds (which I think is the correct way to spell Inglourious...I know that's not the right way to spell "Bastards"), Tarantino's attempt at a war film.

Now, if you've never seen a QT film, just to let you know, he is known for having long dialogue scenes...and I do mean loooooong dialogue scenes. His character's like to talk about everyday things, and while from a nuance side, I do appreciate the fact he's trying to get as much characterization and what not in there, sometimes it can lead the audience member to wonder what the point is of the entire scene. Basterds is no different, though I'm becoming acclimatized to Tarantino's style, so it didn't bother me as much as usual. There's also a lot of brutal scenes, including a bat-wielding bastard taking it to a Nazi, the carving of swastikas into Nazi foreheads, scalping, and at one point, shooting a corpse until their face is basically destroyed. That's right, this film is not for the squeamish, and it's certainly not for people who look away at the very sight of implied violence. When it happens, it's brutal.

Also, this film is not really about the Basterds (though they do play an important part), and one thing I did appreciate, is that if a character was supposed to be German or French, they spoke in German or French, it was not implied that everyone knew English or German or whatever (this also accounts for subtitles, so if you don't like reading dialogue, don't bother), and this film is also not historically accurate, other than the fact that there was a World War 2, and a Hitler, etc, etc. So, don't go looking for a history lesson.

What you get though, is a pretty interesting ride, with over-the-top characters (Brad Pitt and Christoph Waltz excel as the leader of the Basterds and the main villain of the film, respectively), and gratuitous violence (did I mention the blowing off of a corpse's face?), so quite frankly, if you're into that, then you'll like the film. I often find it amazing that Tarantino can have characters discussing the most mundane of things in one scene (take strudel, for instance), and then in the next scene, a character has two guys pointing guns at his balls. That's pretty much what you're going to get for the film, so either you like it, or you don't. For the record, I did.

I bid thee a fond goodnight (with the blowing off of corpse's faces)

- Stephenstein

Rating 4 out of 5 stars.