Stories clash.

Clash of the Titans.

The old movie was a 5/5 for me. I love it. I own all the figures for it (no I don’t have the Kraken or Pegasus – they are on ebay for a 100 bucks if you want them), but I have the poster for it hanging in my room for the last couple of years – long shelf life since I normally change my stuff around every month or so. So yeah, I’m a fan.

I am also a super diehard Ray Harryhausen fan. And yes I have gone on about him a lot on this blog, so Ill spare you … this time.

This new film decided to change the storyline of the original – something I don’t really mind, provided you replace the old storyline (which was good) with a new one that is equally good, or better. This one was worse.

It’s basically man vs God – an odd take since Zeus could kill you in one second. Whatever. Hades, who is now pissed off, wants to release the Kraken because he’s a cool monster who will look good in the final act. Something about humans not respecting Gods anymore. Hades kills Perseus’ family and makes an enemy of Perseus. So he basically wants revenge.

Perseus, demi-god son of Zeus, doesn’t want any help from the Gods. He has no use for them. “I want to do this as a man.” He says. Ok, so he gets Pegasus (a winged horse) and rides him to battle, he uses the help of the Stygian Witches to find Medusa, crosses the river Styx with the help of Charon (the skeleton ferryman), enlists the help of a Djinn (genies for you regular folks) and uses a special magical sword that Zeus gives him, and constantly relies on Io – an immortal, for help. Way to do this as a man Perseus – you showed those Gods you don’t need help from anyone! I only mention this because the entire plot is so focused on Perseus’ hatred for the Gods and what they stand for. His reason to quest is to get revenge on Hades, and he hates all Gods (kind of prejudice I think, just cause Hades is bad, doesn’t mean all the Gods are?)

So Perseus’ motivations’ are revenge and hatred of the Gods – and he doesn’t get revenge on Hades – because Hades cant die, and he uses magic and other things provided from the Gods anyway? Did anyone read this script?

Also, the action scenes were HORRIFIC. I couldn’t see and darn thing. I am dropping a star for that from now on.

BEWARE ALL ACTIONS FILMS. If I cannot see the action, you are losing ONE STAR!

Also, other plot points that didn’t make sense – Io is immortal – a curse she calls it. “I am forced to see my friends die.” Yet in the third act she is stabbed by Calibos (who I wont get into, cause he’s ruined – see my fellow bloggers review) and she dies. Ok, so maybe she is immortal as in ageless, but she can be killed. So if that’s the case and this is a curse to her, just kill yourself. Or let someone else kill you. Whatever, the screenwriters wanted to change the story around and give a big F-you to the Gods and authority – too bad they didn’t think it through.

The good stuff is the creature designs. They are all great and I loved Medusa – so wicked. The Kraken was great too, only not in it enough, and adding the Djinn was kinda cool. I liked how Medusa only turns FLESH people to stone – explaining why the Djinn (made from tree bark) couldn’t be turned – hey, why not send all the Djinn to fight her – never mind, this is the good part of the review, don’t ruin it by discussing plot holes.

All in all, even with my nagging, this was a fun movie to watch, but don’t think about it too much – I know you aren’t supposed to, but this is a remake, I have to compare it to the original, my mind doesn’t turn on and off like that guy in Judge Dredd.

But if your mind can turn on and off, then turn it off and see two titans clash.

3/5
(really a 2.5 - but I love anything to do with greek mythology, even if it's not done so good)

J-Man.